Wednesday, April 15, 2009

CH3 Hash #18 - The Pick-up Hash

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Drippy Spigot had to pull out (ha!) of haring this month's trail. So, in true Cumbridge fashion, a pick-up hash was disorganized in Harvard Square. On a Friday night. During happy hour. Who thought up this clusterfuck?

That would be me, Krusty the Meat Miser! Trusty RA, hare raiser, GM, hash cash and scribe of this particular Cumbridge Hash!

This hash trash is guaranteed 6.9% accurate, as it's being written nearly a month after the fact.

When: Fri, Mar 27th

Hares: Gay Pride, Fire in the Hole, Krusty the Meat Miser, Sticks it to the Bros and Sugar Plum Fairy as bag storage


Pre-lube: Uno Chicago Bar + Whitney's, both in Harvard Square (the pack was split between them because it was happy hour on Friday and a bunch of hashers showed up)

On-In: Shay's Pub + Wine Bar, Harvard Square

On-After: Charlie's Kitchen, Harvard Square

After being split in two for the pre-lube, the pack reunited in the courtyard of Harvard Square and drew straws to see who would be the first hare. Gay Pride "volunteered" to be the first hare and took off carrying a bag full of flour, chalk and two bottles of spiked gatorade the chalk bag while the rest of us warmed up with a rousing rendition of Father Birmingham.

Trail began leisurely enough, winding through Harvard Square and into a parking lot without an exit. Marks ended abruptly as Gay Pride realized this and peed himself just a little bit. As the pack turned out of the parking lot, there was some confusion in the area around Legal Sea Foods. Eventually, trail led to the statues in Longfellow Park where Gay Pride was had cracked one of the gatorade bottles.

There was a secret beer check planned at Fire in the Hole's place. Not expecting a large pack, I had secretly planted a 12-pack of beer there. At the first beer check, realizing the pack was 25 rowdy hashers, an impromptu collection of hash cash for later beer buying was in order. With the money collected, Fire in the Hole (who was the FRB to the gatorade check) took the chalk and flour. Trail led along the Charles to the JFK bridge and along the Charles again to the Harvard footbridge. The pack took 20 minutes to run around a check until figuring out that trail went across the footbridge.

At this point, I'll admit racist behavior. Since I was the only other hasher who knew about the beer at Fire's, I needed to be the next hare. Luckily, Fire figured this out and signaled me with her tits (or by simply saying my name, details are foggy) as soon as I crossed the bridge. Much of the pack was thought lost to the maze of Harvard Square but they all showed up before I took off to lay some chalk and flour.

Trail went straight to Fire's place (you must have seen that coming). After arriving, I immediately raced (again) to the liquor store to buy more beer for the thirsty, thirsty pack. This was the 2nd beer check on a pick-up trail, which I believe is unprecedented in the greater Boston area. Basically, I was smart enough to plan the beer but lazy enough to not scout trail.

Bros smelled the beer first and was the lucky hasher to arrive first and claim the chalk. His trail led us straight back to the courtyard in Harvard Square and on to Whitney's.

Whitney's, being a tiny, tiny bar was too packed for circle on a Friday evening. Instead, the pack took over the patio at Shea's pub and wine bar. The waitress was good enough to provide us with lukewarm PBR and plastic glasses for down-downs. There were many of them but I can't remember a singe one. The condom down-down was done by SATRAC (maybe) who was falling asleep from jet lag during circle.

Afterwards, the pack headed to Charlie's Kitchen for burgers, more beer and some really gross bathrooms. In Cumbridge, we can improvise, even if it's on Friday night in Harvard Square.

Krusty the Meat Miser

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