Sunday, February 8, 2009

Winter Beer Mile Hash Trash

Date: Sat, Feb 7th
Pre-Lube: The Summer Shack
Beer Mile Course:
The Danehy Park Track
On-In: Cougar Consulting's apartment
Hare: Krusty the Meat Miser
Pack: Sugar Plum Fairy, I Eat Cum, Schindler's Fist, Moaning Lisa, Cougar Consulting, Jolly Green Vagina, Snatchsquatch, Wang Chunks

This hash trash contains the drunken recollections of the RA and is guaranteed only 69% accurate.

It was indeed the best beer check to mileage ratio the pack had seen this year. The pack gathered at the Summer Shack and waited an hour past HST to catch any stragglers. Despite the balmy winter weather, there were more spectators than participants in the actual event. Actually, the timing squad was probably bigger than the number of runners.

The pack headed to the Danehy Park track from the Summer Shack to find that it isn't shoveled during the winter. Here's a good view of the trail.

There was a lone hurdle set up on the track, courtesy of Fisty. It was not used but the typical beer mile hurdles of 4 beers and carbonation still remained.

Solo participants were Krusty, IEC and SPF while a relay team I'm calling "Hashing in Jeans" consisted of Fisty, Cougar Consulting, Moaning Lisa and Snatchsquatch. The 4 harriettes engaged in a heavy make-out session before the mile as a "team building exercise". After proper warmups, beers were opened, the clock was started and idiocy began.

Competition was as stiff as Krusty's freezing member (Keep in mind that he was wearing a kilt and no shorts, meaning not stiff at all). Krusty lapped all other participants while SPF was his typical zamboni self and IEC got great enjoyment from throwing snowballs at hashers coming for another beer. Hashing in Jeans was "pleasantly" surprised when Krusty decided to show a bit of skin while passing Fisty.

Real men go commando. The beer mile wrapped up and was quietly observed by some norms walking their dogs around the park. Instead of circling up on the snowy ground, Cougar Consulting offered up her nearby mauling pad for violation by the hash. Cars were gathered and some hashers arrived there in a timely manner. Another car, however, cut a 6 mile detour up to Belmont before getting back on track and barely beating the Chinese delivery guy to Cougar's.

Circle was casual, with hashers enjoying the warmth sitting in chairs or on a couch. Occasional people on the bike path were unwilling participants thanks to windows overlooking the path in Cougar's place. IEC took over as RA for the first down-down for the hare. He sang "Shitty Trail" but the pack came back with a rousing version of the Cumbridge classic, "You're a Shitty Hare". Krusty then took over as RA to administer the following down-downs...

FRB - Krusty the Meat Miser
DFL and runnning in jeans - IEC, Moaning Lisa, Schindler's Fist, Snatchsquatch
Smaht Kids - Fisty
Lost on trail (on the way to CC's) - Krusty, Jolly Green Vagina, IEC, Fisty
Bruised Knees - Fisty
No Hash Attire - Fisty, Krusty, Snatchsquatch, Lisa

Finally, the condom down-down went to second time "winner", Krusty the Meat Miser. It seems to have been for making circle run too long after the food had been delivered. Sometimes, pics speak louder than words...

The next CH3 beer mile will be in the summer for you fair weather hashers. In the meantime, the March CH3 trail will be brought to you by none other than Drippy Spigot.


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