Winter Beer Mile Hash Trash

Date: Sat, Feb 7th
Pre-Lube: The Summer Shack
Beer Mile Course: The Danehy Park Track
On-In: Cougar Consulting's apartment
Hare: Krusty the Meat Miser
Pack: Sugar Plum Fairy, I Eat Cum, Schindler's Fist, Moaning Lisa, Cougar Consulting, Jolly Green Vagina, Snatchsquatch, Wang Chunks

This hash trash contains the drunken recollections of the RA and is guaranteed only 69% accurate.

It was indeed the best beer check to mileage ratio the pack had seen this year. The pack gathered at the Summer Shack and waited an hour past HST to catch any stragglers. Despite the balmy winter weather, there were more spectators than participants in the actual event. Actually, the timing squad was probably bigger than the number of runners.

The pack headed to the Danehy Park track from the Summer Shack to find that it isn't shoveled during the winter. Here's a good view of the trail.


There was a lone hurdle set up on the track, courtesy of Fisty. It was not used but the typical beer mile hurdles of 4 beers and carbonation still remained.

Solo participants were Krusty, IEC and SPF while a relay team I'm calling "Hashing in Jeans" consisted of Fisty, Cougar Consulting, Moaning Lisa and Snatchsquatch. The 4 harriettes engaged in a heavy make-out session before the mile as a "team building exercise". After proper warmups, beers were opened, the clock was started and idiocy began.

Competition was as stiff as Krusty's freezing member (Keep in mind that he was wearing a kilt and no shorts, meaning not stiff at all). Krusty lapped all other participants while SPF was his typical zamboni self and IEC got great enjoyment from throwing snowballs at hashers coming for another beer. Hashing in Jeans was "pleasantly" surprised when Krusty decided to show a bit of skin while passing Fisty.


Real men go commando. The beer mile wrapped up and was quietly observed by some norms walking their dogs around the park. Instead of circling up on the snowy ground, Cougar Consulting offered up her nearby mauling pad for violation by the hash. Cars were gathered and some hashers arrived there in a timely manner. Another car, however, cut a 6 mile detour up to Belmont before getting back on track and barely beating the Chinese delivery guy to Cougar's.

Circle was casual, with hashers enjoying the warmth sitting in chairs or on a couch. Occasional people on the bike path were unwilling participants thanks to windows overlooking the path in Cougar's place. IEC took over as RA for the first down-down for the hare. He sang "Shitty Trail" but the pack came back with a rousing version of the Cumbridge classic, "You're a Shitty Hare". Krusty then took over as RA to administer the following down-downs...

FRB - Krusty the Meat Miser
DFL and runnning in jeans - IEC, Moaning Lisa, Schindler's Fist, Snatchsquatch
Smaht Kids - Fisty
Lost on trail (on the way to CC's) - Krusty, Jolly Green Vagina, IEC, Fisty
Bruised Knees - Fisty
No Hash Attire - Fisty, Krusty, Snatchsquatch, Lisa

Finally, the condom down-down went to second time "winner", Krusty the Meat Miser. It seems to have been for making circle run too long after the food had been delivered. Sometimes, pics speak louder than words...


The next CH3 beer mile will be in the summer for you fair weather hashers. In the meantime, the March CH3 trail will be brought to you by none other than Drippy Spigot.

On-beermile-on,
Krusty

CH3 Winter Beer Mile

Get ready for the best mileage to beer check ratio you're likely to get this year, the Cumbridge H3 annual Winter Beer Mile. For the ill-informed hashers, a beer mile consists of chugging a beer, running a 1/4 mile lap and repeating 3 more times. If you happen to refund your beer (alcohol abuse!) during the event, you run an extra lap. Come out and hash for time or just for spectacle!

What: CH3 Winter Beer Mile
When: Sat, Feb 5th @ 230p HST
Pre-Lube: The Summer Shack (149 Alewife Brook Pkwy, Cumbridge, MA) --> a short walk from Alewife, trail will be marked
Where: The Danehy Park Track
Hash Cash: $5 (beer only, spectators included)
Why: Why the f*ck not? Come see idiots hash! Be an idiot that hashes!

Finally, I NEED A FEW TIMERS. If you plan to attend but remain stationary and drinking, shoot me an email!

On-drinkingangbooting-On,
Krusty the Meat Miser

The Cumbridge Isexcapades Hash Trash

Hares: Schindler's Fist, Just Michelle and Cougar Consulting (as bag car)

Pack: Krusty the Meat Miser, Super Teflon Dong, Wang Chunks, Hoover McSucknfuck, You Oughta Blow, Wooden Eye Fuck 'er in the Ass, Pubic Service Announcement, Drippy Spigot, Nice Tits, I Eat Tea Bags, Laa-Laa, Sticks it to the Bros, Goat Throat, Just John, Crucifux (late cummer), Bend Over Mommy (late cummer), the 2nd Cumming (late cummer), NAMBLA (late cummer) and a bunch more wankers

Pre-Lube: T.I.T.S. in Porter Square

On-In: Prospect Hill Monument in Union Square

On-After: PA's Lounge

It's just that large. The pack, I mean. Seriously, never scribe without a notepad more than 2 weeks after the fact. I remember gathering at the pre-lube for a High Life and then standing outside the bar with Goat Throat immediately after yelling 'hares away'. The industrious hares ran off in different directions so Goat Throat and I waited patiently until Fisty doubled back and ran past us. She was less than pleased.

After winding through the streets of Somerville, the pack made its way to Harvard, specifically the Harvard ice skating rink. The pack drank spiked hot chocolate and some of the more adventurous idiots decided to put blades on their feet and slide on the ice. At one point, STD spotted a hasher showing some asscrack while putting on her skates. He proceeded to yell (louder than usual) "The winner of the best crack contest is the harriette in blue!" or something like it. It turned out...she wasn't a hasher. Awesome.

The pack left and continued winding through and around Harvard to a (cold) beer check. It was then a long way to Union Square and (finally) the Prospect Hill Monument. I think 2/3 of the pack zenned there. Anyway, circle began in the freezing cold and down-downs were had. Wish I could rmember most of them. There were the usual suspects (FRBs, Smaht Kids, etc), the black guys and a Mexican for figure skating and, of course, the condom down-down. That went to me for not ending circle ASAP.

The pack made its way to PA's Lounge with plenty of snowballing along the way. Yup, you heard me.

On-on to beer mile,
Krusty the Meat Miser

CH3 Hash #16: Isexcapades!

What: Why, a Cumbridge Hash, of course...the Isexcapades!!
Hares: Schindler's Fist and Just Michele, who debuted two months ago at the Cumbridge Hash and is now a virgin hare!
Bag Car: Cougar Consulting
Where: Tavern on the Square in Porter...1815 Mass Ave...take Red line to Porter, turn left as you exit, don't cross any major roads (too dangerous for you wankers!), Tavern is on the right. Trail WILL NOT necessarily be marked from the T. But seriously, it is simple...even simple enough for YOU.
When: Friday, Jan. 23, 6.30 HST
Promises:

• A bi-athalon of sorts--you may just like skating for the other team.
• Hot (or at least lukewarm) chocolate on trail. (Yes, yes, with peppermint schnapps)
• Cold. And more cold. Please please dress warmly. Drink checks and circle will be outside and we don't want to listen to you whine. Plastic bags over your socks will get you heckled-- 'grow some balls!' --but will also keep you warm.