tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22279367567240812872024-02-19T07:25:08.583-08:00Cumbridge Hash House HarriersWhere every run is a wicked pissah!Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-41019658209249911372009-12-06T14:38:00.001-08:002009-12-06T14:38:48.903-08:00The Salem Halloween Hash TrashThe C#mbridge H*sh Hallloween run 10/24/2009<br /><br />Salem, MA<br /><br />Pre-lube: Porter's Bar and Grill<br /><br />Hare: Wang Chunks<br />Bag Car: Stretch P#ssy<br />RA: Krusty the Meat Miser<br />Surprise Scribe: The Maid of Honor<br /><br />Da Pack:<br />Jimmy crackwhore, Dirty layte sanchez, Dude, where's my virginity, P#ssy<br />factory, Counterfeit dick, Peppermint p#ssy, Inconvenient poop, Fisty, Nancy<br />Reagan, G-string, Pbbv..., Bbag, Gay pride, Cougar consulting, Cletus the<br />fetus<br /><br />So uh... I'm a lazy bum and I agreed to write this one about a month ago.<br />Since then I have slacked like crazy. I also wasn't the designated scribe<br />until afterwards, so no notes. We shall see what I can remember.<br /><br />Now that I have whined I will commence with making up great stories about<br />all of you.<br /><br />On-ghouls-gone-wild-On!<br /><br />The Pack slowly assembled in Porters and had ourselves some early afternoon<br />brews. Apparenty MOH didn't get the memo that we were in the witches and<br />warlocks themed costumes. Everyone else showed up in there dark garb while<br />MOH showed up in A jester outfit and some killer running tights. Pbbzzt...<br />and MOH remenisced about the good old days of writing suggestive messages<br />all the way up Pbbbzzzt...'s leg on the graffiti h*sh. Oh the good ol days.<br /><br />We had some strange conversations in the bar including one in which the<br />stereotypical image of lesbians was shot down as the norm. The locals<br />agreed. Someone may have mentioned lipstick lesbians as the cure to the<br />broken fantasy. H*sh managed to avoid offending any die-hard feminists in<br />our midst. We left the Porters and tromped on down to North Station.<br /><br />Most of the pack managed to follow the instructions and make the train to<br />Salem. Most...<br /><br />The train ride was about as subdued as could be expected from a group of<br />folks applying black lipstick to their male contingent and Fisty trading her<br />corset off to another h*sher. Fisty, it looked great on you too, don't<br />worry.<br /><br />Arrival in Salem and we met up with a few more brave h*shers willing to<br />face the drizzle. Nancy pulled up in style only to realize he and MOH were<br />both jesters. Faux pas!<br /><br />Wang let us know what we were doing and we scurried off down an abandoned<br />rail bed. Got lost several times before finding a marked trail that actually<br />led into Salem. Finally the travesty could begin in earnest.<br /><br />Off to a good start we had a song check directly in front of a line for a<br />haunted tour bus. Salem in October is full of a lot of freaks. Our pride<br />continues that we can still top the bunch and really confuse, amuse, and<br />generally make people feel uncomfortable. We rock.<br /><br />Back to trail. Which, as it turns out was getting very challenging to<br />follow. If I remember correctly, this was a dead trail on a fairly rainy<br />day. In other words.. fading fast! We hustled down the main street of<br />vendors in Salem, speculating that there was a trail hidden somewhere under<br />there feet. Whatever the case was, we did find trail at the end of it. More<br />mucking about the residential neighborhoods finally pointed us towards the<br />harbor shore.<br /><br />We found one of the best BC's ever. Wang and Stretch had a small burner out<br />the back of a truck warming a pot of cider to which excellent things were<br />added. This is a very good way to make the pack happy.<br /><br />The BC came to an end and Wang pointed us towards the continuation of trail.<br />More Running through throngs of costumed people.<br /><br />And then we came to a very special place! A giant statue of Bend Over<br />Mommy's ancestor. I think he was standing triumphantly with virgins fawning<br />at his feet. Makes sense with a cool descendent like BOM.<br /><br />All the vendors around town were really starting to make me hungry! Between<br />the hot salted nuts and spicy giant sausage I was salivating. (I believe the<br />stache made me write that again)<br /><br />We found the On-In which was some chill divy bar/restaurant. No idea what it<br />was called. Bu they were very cool with us taking over their back alley to<br />sing songs and drink beverages.<br /><br />Circle involved calling out C#mbridge virgins, hat wearers, non-costume<br />wearers, late-c#mmers, backsliders, and generally anyone who just deserved<br />to drink more.<br /><br />Somewhere along the line Krusty found the mankiest rotting roller blade I<br />have ever seen. Which we then tried to get one of the pack to drink out of.<br />He refused claiming something about standards... BS.<br /><br />Most importantly we gave a shout out to our favorite future H*sher: Cletus<br />the Fetus (currently residing like a creepy alien in Dude, Where's my<br />virginity's belly)<br /><br />BBAG was kind enough to be a surrogate down downer for his spawn.<br /><br />We finished up and went into the bar to settle into many pitchers and a<br />bunch of cheap, mostly edible food.<br /><br />We took our dear sweet time and missed the first train. So that lead to more<br />pitchers.<br /><br />Which got us into fine form. I can now continue my H*sh grooming styles<br />commentary with a shout out to Fisty sporting the Adult woman, full, but not<br />out of control styling.<br /><br />Eventually we extricated ourselves and blazed a trail back to the train.<br />With so many pitchers in us it just didn't seem right to let the peace rest.<br />And so we sang. Oh did we sing. The platform of that train may never be the<br />same. Verse after Verse of Yogi, S&M Man, old department store, and one<br />particularly cruel rendition of Jesus saves once a sign-board man approached<br />us with his “Jesus Saves!” Signs.<br /><br />Forget it dude. We are beyond saving.<br /><br /><br />On-Halloween-debauchery-On<br /><br /><br />-The Maid of HonorKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-92195919395932645652009-10-22T19:50:00.000-07:002009-10-22T19:58:18.984-07:00Hash #23: The Salem Halloween Hash<span></span> What: A CH3 Halloween Hash in Salem<br />Hare: Wang Chunks<br />When: Saturday, Oct 24th @ 1230p HST (We'll be departing the pre-lube NO LATER than 115p to catch the commuter rail)<br />Pre-Lube: Porter's Bar and Grill (173 Portland St, near North Station)<br />Hash Cash: $5 (beer only, food + commuter fare not included)<br />Promises: Witches, beer, cheap food, beer, spookiness, beer, old-timey baseball, beer and shenanigans<br /><br />That's right, wankers and diddlers! Here's an opportunity to run amongst civilians dressed even sillier than you--and you can get there with everyone else--a few beers already in you--by commuter rail!<br /><br />Salem-in-October attire is highly recommended--you don't want to be the only masshole in town looking "normal". Witches, warlocks, or whatever other random-ass ghoul-y things you can think of.<br /><br />Opening circle will occur at 1:59pm at the Salem Commuter Rail stop.<br /><br />Fortunately, for anyone coming from the Boston area, there's a train that departs North Station (on the Newburyport/Rockport line) at 1:30pm that will arrive at Salem at EXACTLY 1:59pm! Anyone planning to drive should be at the commuter rail station before the start of circle!<br /><br />PRELUBE: For those coming from Boston, the pre-lube will be at Porter's Bar and Grill (173 Portland St, near North Station). Show up as early as noon if you like--grab some lunch with other hashers, and get the hell out of there soon enough to buy your commuter rail ticket for the 1:30pm train!<br /><br />For those driving, I recommend you brown-bag it in the commuter rail parking lot.<br /><br />HASH CASH: $5 for trail and religion beer, everyone is responsible for their own food, which is plentiful and cheap at the on-after. You are also responsible for your own commuter rail fare<br /><br />RSVP is not required, but would be helpful for planning a thing or two. Let me know if you think you might make it out on Saturday, wangchunks@gmail.com.<br /><div style="width: 655px;"><div style="margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt 25px 0pt 0pt; width: 470px; float: left;"><div><p> On-hashing-way-off-the-red-<wbr>line-on,<br />Wang Chunks</p></div></div></div>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-26392145569381672602009-09-18T21:19:00.001-07:002009-10-06T19:20:28.839-07:00Hash #22: 3rd Anal CH3 Beer Mile Hash Trash<span style="font-weight: bold;">What: </span>The 3rd Anal CH3 Summer Beer Mile<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When: </span>Fri, Sep 19th<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hares: </span><span>Krusty the Meat Miser</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack<br />Hashers: </span>Krusty the Meat Miser, Just Sager, Virgin Jessica, Sugar Plum Fairy, Brigham Tongue, Necrophiliac Jack, Muddy Buddy, Bleeps Sweeps and Creeps, The Butler Hit It<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spectators:</span> Wang Chunks, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Catheter the Great, Shawskank, Nipples Erectus, Spunk in the Trunk, Just Sarah<br /><br />The pack gathered at the pre-lube, the hotel bar of the Courtyard Marriot. As each hasher entered, they had to decide if they were with the hash or the rehearsal dinner arriving at 7pm. Given the $5 Bud Lights at the bar, many hashers thought of moving in on the dinner and snagging some free wine.<br /><br />While sitting at the bar, we noticed two police officers moving into the "library" of the Courtyard Marriot. Despite the obvious blue uniforms, talk of drinking in public and smoking the ganja was loudly exchanged among hashers. When the time came for the rehearsal dinner, we politely moved to the library in order to be closer to the cops. There was talk of circling then and there since we were all seated in the correct configuration. But the call of the beer mile is strong. After another drink, the pack left and crossed the street to Magazine St Beach for the main event.<br /><br />Necro Jack, an experienced hasher, managed to lead 4 others to the wrong end of Mag St Beach. He tried to bargain their position and convince the pack to move to his area. It was a failed effort, though, because we had the beer. Jack retrieved the others and joined the pack at the starting line of the beer mile.<br /><br />After cracking open a 30 rack of cool, refreshing Natty Light, the pack circled for introductions. At one point, all beer milers were thrusting and all spectators were bent over. Shawskank was brought into circle so Krusty could demonstrate what happens when the 2 motions combine (simulated doggystyle). The rules of the beer mile were explained along with the course, which was laid out in cones that were now invisible thanks to the dark. Beers were lined up by our diligent beer bitches Spunk and Nips, and the pack was away.<br /><br />The results for this beer mile are linked on the right side of the blog. Muddy Buddy was the first away, followed closely by Just Sager. Unfortunately, Muddy Buddy got lost in the first 50 ft of trail. There was also some drama when Necro Jack unceremoniously refunded his beer. Krusty was the FRB and Virgin Jessica took the FBI. She's clearly a born racist hasher.<br /><br />Now, beer mile is inherently racist. Still, Shawskank found ways to make it even more racist. Aside from recording split times for each hasher, she CALCULATED the average split time for each. That means doing math in your head. At a hash event. She paid for this crime in circle.<br /><br />Speaking of circle, it was led by Krusty and went something like this.<br /><br />Krusty was brought into ciricle as the hare of the event and Wang Chunks led the pack in serenading him with 'You're a Shitty Hare'.<br /><br />Shawskank paid for her crime of supporting racist behavior by timing and calculating average lap times for each hasher.<br /><br />Krusty drank, again, this time for being the FRB.<br /><br />The FBI was Virgin Jessica but she needed to see an instructional down-down. Necro Jack wasn't actually asked to be her sponsor. Instead, he creepily appeared behing VJ when it came time to show her a down-down. He demonstrated and then the Virgin did her down-down, complete with cranial inversion.<br /><br />Muddy Buddy drank for finishing in the sacred 6.9th place.<br /><br />Necro Jack was called into circle again for alcohol abuse since he refunded beer on trail.<br /><br />There was a small bag of ice. Yes, ice! At this point, for some reason, Buttler was made to sit on it, ass exposed, for several down-downs. Later on, Shawskank and Necro Jack would share the icy seat for having a private party.<br /><br />At this time, the Virgin was officially demented in a manner suiting Cumbridge. She would only get off on a bus of lesbians if they stimulated her cl1t. When Wang asked about an embarassing sexual moment, she replied with something about the kitchen table, her roommate and being locked in. The virgin was speaking in drunk.<br /><br />Muddy Buddy was pulled into circle for getting lost on trail.<br /><br />All the spectators did a sweat test failure down-down and nearly finished the beer. With limited alcohol left, it was time for the patented Cumbridge down-down, the Cabomb!<br /><br />The winner/loser of the condom down-down was Necro Jack for getting lost in the short distance between the hotel and the beer mile. He's had experience with the Cabomb before so this was nothing new.<br /><br />The pack wrapped it up with 'Today is Monday' and headed to Riverside Pizza for cheap beer and mediocre food. The last beer mile of 2009 was a success, here's to all the wankers that answered the call!<br /><br />On-On,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-38663349605948823282009-09-17T06:08:00.000-07:002009-10-06T19:20:11.792-07:00Hash #22: CH3 Summer Beer MileGet ready for the best mileage to beer check ratio you're likely to get this year, the Cumbridge H3 3rd anal Summer Beer Mile. For the ill-informed hashers, a beer mile consists of chugging a beer, running a 1/4 mile lap and repeating 3 more times. If you happen to refund your beer (alcohol abuse!) during the event, you run an extra lap. Come out and hash for time or just for spectacle!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What:</span> CH3 Summer Beer Mile<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Fri, Sep 17th @ 630p HST<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-Lube:</span> The Courtyard Marriot Hotel Bar (777 Memorial Dr, Cumbridge, MA) --> (<b><a href="http://tinyurl.com/ra6z99" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/ra6z99</a>)</b><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Where:</span> Magazine St Beach<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hash Cash:</span> $5 (beer only)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why:</span> Why the f*ck not? Come see idiots hash! Be an idiot that hashes!<br /><br />NO RELAY ENTRIES THIS YEAR!<br /><br />On-drinkingangbooting-On,<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br />Krusty the Meat Miser<br /></span>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-41991055555717241942009-07-24T20:38:00.000-07:002009-10-06T19:14:47.515-07:00CH3 Hash #21: The Don't Trust Me HashAs the Cumbridge H3 nears the 2 year mark, Drippy Spigot took it upon himself to help the pack recall the basics of hashing. His don't trust me hash was no doubt a response to the trust me hash of June when 2nd Cumming and Wang Chunks loading several unsuspecting hashers into vans and transported them to Newport to harvest their organs for profit (no one wanted the hash livers). A trash will (eventually) be posted of the CH3 trust me hash in Newport but until then, enjoy this latest installment of Cumbridge shenanigans...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What: </span>The 21st running of the CH3 - the don't trust me hash<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When: </span>Fri, July 24th<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hares: </span>Drippy Spigot, Just Heather and Shitshow (impromptu)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack: </span>Krusty the Meat Miser, Wang Chunks, SATRAC, Jolly Green Vagina, Shitshow, Fire in the Hole, Stick it to the Bros (aka Nancy Reagan), Shitshow, Wooden Eye F Her in the A, Time of the Munch, Cum Fly With Me, Mona Lay-a, PBPBVVPBpvbbpvpbvpv..., Spoonful of Semen, Floppy Dick, Just Craig, Just Adam, Just Elly, Just Lloyd<br /><br />Drippy had thrown the gauntlet for this hash by telling us, outright, not to trust him. Emails hyping the run suggested that hashers should be equipped a GPS, fleshlight, map, condoms and supplemental oxygen. This was intimidating...until we realized that Drippy was haring by himself. He propositioned several hashers by asking them if they'd like to hare with him. It would take Shitshow approximately 3 beers to take Drippy up on the offer.<br /><br />The pack gathered at the Summer Shack near Alewife (sans the recommended orienteering gear) for the prelube. After a few beers and the requisite 6.9 minute head start, the pack circled. There weren't any virgins for sacrifice so marks were explained in a quick and dirty fashion, fitting for the hash. Introductions were accompanied by each hasher's best Michael Jackson impression. Impressions involved, among other things, mentions of young boys, stringy hair or just simply laying on the ground.<br /><br />The pack scattered, searching for marks. Many of us went in the direction of Somerville or Cambridge, figuring that any bars in Arlington would be too full of non-fun yuppies to accommodate hashers. There's no WAY trail could be leading to Arlington. Except that it was...<br /><br />Being out of our natural habitat of Cumbridge, the pack was confused, frightened and way too sober (Dear Summer Shack, Your beer is way to expensive for a bar next to Alewife. F you. Sincerely, the CH3). Nothing looked familiar. Cars were moving quickly, intersections were few and far between and the People's Republic was nowhere in sight. Where would we find cheap beer in this strange land. The answer, of course, was in a patch of mosquito infested woods set just off a main road.<br /><br />Drippy managed to drag a cooler of cold PBR, Keystone and refreshing fruit into the suburban woods for the pack. It was here that Shitshow had 3 beers and agreed to co-hare with Drippy who convinced her in between large gasps for breath. In addition to beer, Drippy provided some sort of tablet that, supposedly, improved the taste of fruit. Being suspicious of what might be roofies, the pack turned down his generous offer of mystery drugs.<br /><br />Just Craig began talking about some sort of USB masturbation aid, only sold in Japan, that was used with a computer. Many floppy disk to hard drive jokes were made. Mona Lay-a made an interesting comment when she noticed that one of Bros' pecs was larger than the other. That led Wang to say that he had "a Nancy Reagan thing going on." Nice.<br /><br />After giving the hares 6.9 minutes (maybe less because of all the mosquitos), the pack climbed up a hill and across some railroad tracks in a bit of foreshadowing. As dusk set in, trail continued to wind through Arlington and possibly into Watertown. If it's not on the red line, I have no idea where it is. Finally, the pack made its way to an intersection with a check and no marks. After a half hour of searching, JGV realized that Drippy's house was 2 short blocks away. It turns out the hare had decided to be tricky and turn without leaving a mark. Clever hares.<br /><br />In addition to the usual stash of shitty beer, Drippy provided meat and a grill for the pack.<br /><br />Circle went something like this...<br /><br />Hares - Drippy, Shitshow and Just Heather were brought in to the circle. Comments on trail included the notable fact that most of the pack was nearly hit by a train.<br /><br />FRB - JGV, the least likely FRB and Fire in the Hole, the most likely FRB both drank for their crimes.<br /><br />DAL - Wooden Eye somehow was the DAL. Before her down-down, Just Lloyed offered to "help<br />Wooden Eye finish" by cumming right then and there. He didn't and she didn't.<br /><br />Just Lloyd then drank for unhashmanlike behavior because he did not, in fact, help her finish.<br /><br />Mona Lay-a and Cum Fly With Me wore the same shirts on trail but CFWM changed before circle, hoping to avoid accusation. Her plea for pity went unheard and she was told to get the fuck in circle and drink.<br /><br />Wooden Eye, Shitshow and Time of the Munch drank for having a private party and then serenaded the pack with verse from the S + M man.<br /><br />Shitshow did an innocence down-down for asking what 'ludes are. She never got drunk enough to do a MJ impression<br /><br />Drippy was the source of the 'ludes comment and he drank for trying to roofie the entire pack at the beer check.<br /><br />RENAMING! Sticks it to the Bros was renamed because of Mona Lay-a's mention of his different sized pecs. Thanks to Wang's subsequent commentary, Bros is now known in Cumbridge as Nancy Reagan.<br /><br />There was then an impromptu down-down for hashers that had been naked on Drippy's street. Participants were JGV, Shitshow and Wooden Eye.<br /><br />Next was the condom down-down so I said that it was time to bring out the C-bomb. Cum Fly With Me then said..."The cabomb?" The pack lost its shit laughing. We were lizzing, laughing and wizzing.<br /><br />Henceforth, the condom down-down will be known as the Cabomb!<br /><br />Cabomb nominations were PBVpbv... for having a long name, Just Craig for talking about fucking his computer, JGV for talking about Japanese websites that sold masturbation aids in 6 flavors and textures, and Cum Fly With Me for renaming the condom down-down (and not knowing what it was).<br /><br />CFWM renamed the down-down, so she was the "winner" and downed the Cabomb with gusto! SHE EVEN SUCKED THE BEER OUT OF THE HEAD OF THE CONDOM! Hashmanlike behavior.<br /><br />The last down-down was a "fight" between Mona Lay-a and Time of the Munch. She, apparently, claimed that she could kick his ass. There was only one thing to do...<br />They had a shotgun contest and both were pretty poor. ML took a long time and TotM took a good minute and a half to crack open his can. No real "winners" here.<br /><br />Circle wrapped with Today is Monday and the hash then went to put Drippy's meat in their mouth.<br /><br />On-On,<br />Krusty the Meat Miser<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-18092815065358532612009-04-15T18:13:00.001-07:002009-07-25T07:48:21.468-07:00CH3 Hash #18 - The Pick-up HashDue to unforeseen circumstances, Drippy Spigot had to pull out (ha!) of haring this month's trail. So, in true Cumbridge fashion, a pick-up hash was disorganized in Harvard Square. On a Friday night. During happy hour. Who thought up this clusterfuck?<br /><br />That would be me, Krusty the Meat Miser! Trusty RA, hare raiser, GM, hash cash and scribe of this particular Cumbridge Hash!<br /><br />This hash trash is guaranteed 6.9% accurate, as it's being written nearly a month after the fact.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Fri, Mar 27th<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hares:</span> Gay Pride, Fire in the Hole, Krusty the Meat Miser, Sticks it to the Bros and Sugar Plum Fairy as bag storage<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack:</span> WANKERS, ALL OF THEM!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-lube:</span> Uno Chicago Bar + Whitney's, both in Harvard Square (the pack was split between them because it was happy hour on Friday and a bunch of hashers showed up)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-In:</span> Shay's Pub + Wine Bar, Harvard Square<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-After:</span> Charlie's Kitchen, Harvard Square<br /><br />After being split in two for the pre-lube, the pack reunited in the courtyard of Harvard Square and drew straws to see who would be the first hare. Gay Pride "volunteered" to be the first hare and took off carrying a bag full of flour, chalk and two bottles of spiked gatorade the chalk bag while the rest of us warmed up with a rousing rendition of Father Birmingham.<br /><br />Trail began leisurely enough, winding through Harvard Square and into a parking lot without an exit. Marks ended abruptly as Gay Pride realized this and peed himself just a little bit. As the pack turned out of the parking lot, there was some confusion in the area around Legal Sea Foods. Eventually, trail led to the statues in Longfellow Park where Gay Pride was had cracked one of the gatorade bottles.<br /><br />There was a secret beer check planned at Fire in the Hole's place. Not expecting a large pack, I had secretly planted a 12-pack of beer there. At the first beer check, realizing the pack was 25 rowdy hashers, an impromptu collection of hash cash for later beer buying was in order. With the money collected, Fire in the Hole (who was the FRB to the gatorade check) took the chalk and flour. Trail led along the Charles to the JFK bridge and along the Charles again to the Harvard footbridge. The pack took 20 minutes to run around a check until figuring out that trail went across the footbridge.<br /><br />At this point, I'll admit racist behavior. Since I was the only other hasher who knew about the beer at Fire's, I needed to be the next hare. Luckily, Fire figured this out and signaled me with her tits (or by simply saying my name, details are foggy) as soon as I crossed the bridge. Much of the pack was thought lost to the maze of Harvard Square but they all showed up before I took off to lay some chalk and flour.<br /><br />Trail went straight to Fire's place (you must have seen that coming). After arriving, I immediately raced (again) to the liquor store to buy more beer for the thirsty, thirsty pack. This was the 2nd beer check on a pick-up trail, which I believe is unprecedented in the greater Boston area. Basically, I was smart enough to plan the beer but lazy enough to not scout trail.<br /><br />Bros smelled the beer first and was the lucky hasher to arrive first and claim the chalk. His trail led us straight back to the courtyard in Harvard Square and on to Whitney's.<br /><br />Whitney's, being a tiny, tiny bar was too packed for circle on a Friday evening. Instead, the pack took over the patio at Shea's pub and wine bar. The waitress was good enough to provide us with lukewarm PBR and plastic glasses for down-downs. There were many of them but I can't remember a singe one. The condom down-down was done by SATRAC (maybe) who was falling asleep from jet lag during circle.<br /><br />Afterwards, the pack headed to Charlie's Kitchen for burgers, more beer and some really gross bathrooms. In Cumbridge, we can improvise, even if it's on Friday night in Harvard Square.<br /><br />On-pickup-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-56236833382949609682009-02-19T06:59:00.001-08:002009-02-19T06:59:44.659-08:00Cumbridge Reborn!The Cumbridge H3 is over a year old and has many hashes under its beer belly. There are very few rules governing those hashes aside from making sure they happen on Fridays on the Red Line. Creative on-afters are encouraged, if not standard, and often result in a shitshow of alcohol, hashers, nudity and fun (You're welcome!). However, there are some changes on the horizon.<br /><br />The most identifiable aspect of Cumbridge hashing, in my mind, is the creativity and opportunity for experimentation that it offers the hares. Hash cash is flexible and has ranged from $5 (beer only) to $25 (beer, food and a concert ticket). The pack is generally smaller than in Boston, allowing for more subtle beer checks and tinier on-afters with annoying jukeboxes. The only thing left to free up is the location and day of the hash.<br /><br />The CH3, despite its name, is no longer confined to the Red Line. Cambridge and Somerville have been hashed consistently by all the Boston kennels, so let's bring some of that creative Cumbridge energy to Southie, Allston, JP, etc. Look for fun on-ins all around town. As for the day, in Cumbridge, Friday is still the usual hashing day. That said, if there's a compelling reason to move it to a Thursday or Saturday (for example, a holiday showing of the Slutcracker) then go for it. Just keep the other Boston kennels in mind when scheduling. <br /><br />If you're interested in haring, talk to any member of CH3 mismanagement (Drippy Spigot, Schindler's Fist, Sucks Hard for the $, Wang Chunks and me). In the meantime, to get the (mental) hash juices flowing, here are some previous CH3 hash concepts...<br /><br />- A summer hash with 7 alcohol checks...<br />- A rock star trust me hash with the secret on-after being a G n' R cover band...<br />- Courtside karaoke as the on-after resulting in 2 hashers accidentally faking a Portuguese love song...<br /> - An on-after at a semi-private bar with a Rock Band setup...<br />- A Big Lebowski themed hash the week of BH3 Marathon...<br /><br />Finally, bookmark <a href="http://cumbridgeh3.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://cumbridgeh3.blogspot.<wbr>com</a> for any announcements involving the CH3. See you on trail...Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-40567481447660695522009-02-08T18:23:00.000-08:002009-02-08T19:18:12.958-08:00Winter Beer Mile Hash Trash<span style="font-weight: bold;">Date: </span>Sat, Feb 7th<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-Lube: </span>The Summer Shack<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Beer Mile Course: </span>The Danehy Park Track<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-In: </span>Cougar Consulting's apartment<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hare: </span>Krusty the Meat Miser<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack: </span>Sugar Plum Fairy, I Eat Cum, Schindler's Fist, Moaning Lisa, Cougar Consulting, Jolly Green Vagina, Snatchsquatch, Wang Chunks<br /><br />This hash trash contains the drunken recollections of the RA and is guaranteed only 69% accurate.<br /><br />It was indeed the best beer check to mileage ratio the pack had seen this year. The pack gathered at the Summer Shack and waited an hour past HST to catch any stragglers. Despite the balmy winter weather, there were more spectators than participants in the actual event. Actually, the timing squad was probably bigger than the number of runners.<br /><br />The pack headed to the Danehy Park track from the Summer Shack to find that it isn't shoveled during the winter. Here's a good view of the trail.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-WXn7kXk_4gSZAHG7y8EqzYacTNhc57wDsIO2ejAjXhCsHNUpUJBx75xyBE61zBu90IlXoWYYP_hIanYPQTl5xSf_AXJ89PyFcR-Fl8blbyziZ8VD8of07kzx3D65ZTKuk91FOIEx1ABm/s1600-h/IMG_1953.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-WXn7kXk_4gSZAHG7y8EqzYacTNhc57wDsIO2ejAjXhCsHNUpUJBx75xyBE61zBu90IlXoWYYP_hIanYPQTl5xSf_AXJ89PyFcR-Fl8blbyziZ8VD8of07kzx3D65ZTKuk91FOIEx1ABm/s400/IMG_1953.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300626121729466498" border="0" /></a><br />There was a lone hurdle set up on the track, courtesy of Fisty. It was not used but the typical beer mile hurdles of 4 beers and carbonation still remained.<br /><br />Solo participants were Krusty, IEC and SPF while a relay team I'm calling "Hashing in Jeans" consisted of Fisty, Cougar Consulting, Moaning Lisa and Snatchsquatch. The 4 harriettes engaged in a heavy make-out session before the mile as a "team building exercise". After proper warmups, beers were opened, the clock was started and idiocy began.<br /><br />Competition was as stiff as Krusty's freezing member (Keep in mind that he was wearing a kilt and no shorts, meaning not stiff at all). Krusty lapped all other participants while SPF was his typical zamboni self and IEC got great enjoyment from throwing snowballs at hashers coming for another beer. Hashing in Jeans was "pleasantly" surprised when Krusty decided to show a bit of skin while passing Fisty.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxCSzYUUWfT3rL9mt0REWGBfdduVg6uMr4p6LmnPKnnHvK6TLXIc-O4veBlTh4HXFI1sVnRvoiZBxsm8WCinn8jCj4CyqNuJLlWnKWqo2kbBWGldH-EEb-dYd7DFNxpGPLm9zLekc38cbm/s1600-h/IMG_1965.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxCSzYUUWfT3rL9mt0REWGBfdduVg6uMr4p6LmnPKnnHvK6TLXIc-O4veBlTh4HXFI1sVnRvoiZBxsm8WCinn8jCj4CyqNuJLlWnKWqo2kbBWGldH-EEb-dYd7DFNxpGPLm9zLekc38cbm/s400/IMG_1965.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300625792777332482" border="0" /></a><br />Real men go commando. The beer mile wrapped up and was quietly observed by some norms walking their dogs around the park. Instead of circling up on the snowy ground, Cougar Consulting offered up her nearby mauling pad for violation by the hash. Cars were gathered and some hashers arrived there in a timely manner. Another car, however, cut a 6 mile detour up to Belmont before getting back on track and barely beating the Chinese delivery guy to Cougar's.<br /><br />Circle was casual, with hashers enjoying the warmth sitting in chairs or on a couch. Occasional people on the bike path were unwilling participants thanks to windows overlooking the path in Cougar's place. IEC took over as RA for the first down-down for the hare. He sang "Shitty Trail" but the pack came back with a rousing version of the Cumbridge classic, "You're a Shitty Hare". Krusty then took over as RA to administer the following down-downs...<br /><br />FRB - Krusty the Meat Miser<br />DFL and runnning in jeans - IEC, Moaning Lisa, Schindler's Fist, Snatchsquatch<br />Smaht Kids - Fisty<br />Lost on trail (on the way to CC's) - Krusty, Jolly Green Vagina, IEC, Fisty<br />Bruised Knees - Fisty<br />No Hash Attire - Fisty, Krusty, Snatchsquatch, Lisa<br /><br />Finally, the condom down-down went to second time "winner", Krusty the Meat Miser. It seems to have been for making circle run too long after the food had been delivered. Sometimes, pics speak louder than words...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharsAiqFgyP8uXrBcc_f82EnG1OOnLyLY1_RjVXWLRqS-vkNwXoTnxn-pFG7W2m-iWxTcU6sAdL7lsdiVpbkxEveravu6Piza1dOMVG9_E-lzXTzArAuILXPPtTXtCnnGPvImhLPxrmxxM/s1600-h/IMG_1970.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharsAiqFgyP8uXrBcc_f82EnG1OOnLyLY1_RjVXWLRqS-vkNwXoTnxn-pFG7W2m-iWxTcU6sAdL7lsdiVpbkxEveravu6Piza1dOMVG9_E-lzXTzArAuILXPPtTXtCnnGPvImhLPxrmxxM/s400/IMG_1970.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300631639246215122" border="0" /></a><br />The next CH3 beer mile will be in the summer for you fair weather hashers. In the meantime, the March CH3 trail will be brought to you by none other than Drippy Spigot.<br /><br />On-beermile-on,<br />KrustyKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-11621867183373205092009-02-02T18:36:00.000-08:002009-02-06T13:08:38.426-08:00CH3 Winter Beer MileGet ready for the best mileage to beer check ratio you're likely to get this year, the Cumbridge H3 annual Winter Beer Mile. For the ill-informed hashers, a beer mile consists of chugging a beer, running a 1/4 mile lap and repeating 3 more times. If you happen to refund your beer (alcohol abuse!) during the event, you run an extra lap. Come out and hash for time or just for spectacle!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What:</span> CH3 Winter Beer Mile<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Sat, Feb 5th @ 230p HST<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-Lube:</span> The Summer Shack (149 Alewife Brook Pkwy, Cumbridge, MA) --> a short walk from Alewife, trail will be marked<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Where:</span> The Danehy Park Track<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hash Cash:</span> $5 (beer only, spectators included)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why:</span> Why the f*ck not? Come see idiots hash! Be an idiot that hashes!<br /><br />Finally, I NEED A FEW TIMERS. If you plan to attend but remain stationary and drinking, shoot me an email!<br /><br />On-drinkingangbooting-On,<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br />Krusty the Meat Miser<br /></span>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-7188113201998295152009-02-02T17:59:00.001-08:002009-02-02T18:34:55.211-08:00The Cumbridge Isexcapades Hash Trash<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hares: </span>Schindler's Fist, Just Michelle and Cougar Consulting (as bag car)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack: </span>Krusty the Meat Miser, Super Teflon Dong, Wang Chunks, Hoover McSucknfuck, You Oughta Blow, Wooden Eye Fuck 'er in the Ass, Pubic Service Announcement, Drippy Spigot, Nice Tits, I Eat Tea Bags, Laa-Laa, Sticks it to the Bros, Goat Throat, Just John, Crucifux (late cummer), Bend Over Mommy (late cummer), the 2nd Cumming (late cummer), NAMBLA (late cummer) and a bunch more wankers<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-Lube: </span>T.I.T.S. in Porter Square<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-In: </span>Prospect Hill Monument in Union Square<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />On-After: </span>PA's Lounge<br /><br />It's just that large. The pack, I mean. Seriously, never scribe without a notepad more than 2 weeks after the fact. I remember gathering at the pre-lube for a High Life and then standing outside the bar with Goat Throat immediately after yelling 'hares away'. The industrious hares ran off in different directions so Goat Throat and I waited patiently until Fisty doubled back and ran past us. She was less than pleased.<br /><br />After winding through the streets of Somerville, the pack made its way to Harvard, specifically the Harvard ice skating rink. The pack drank spiked hot chocolate and some of the more adventurous idiots decided to put blades on their feet and slide on the ice. At one point, STD spotted a hasher showing some asscrack while putting on her skates. He proceeded to yell (louder than usual) "The winner of the best crack contest is the harriette in blue!" or something like it. It turned out...she wasn't a hasher. Awesome.<br /><br />The pack left and continued winding through and around Harvard to a (cold) beer check. It was then a long way to Union Square and (finally) the Prospect Hill Monument. I think 2/3 of the pack zenned there. Anyway, circle began in the freezing cold and down-downs were had. Wish I could rmember most of them. There were the usual suspects (FRBs, Smaht Kids, etc), the black guys and a Mexican for figure skating and, of course, the condom down-down. That went to me for not ending circle ASAP.<br /><br />The pack made its way to PA's Lounge with plenty of snowballing along the way. Yup, you heard me.<br /><br />On-on to beer mile,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-16756595450712765212009-01-21T21:02:00.000-08:002009-01-21T21:04:48.260-08:00CH3 Hash #16: Isexcapades!<span style="font-weight: bold;">What:</span> Why, a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Cumbridge</span> Hash, of course...the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Isexcapades</span>!!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hares:</span> Schindler's Fist and Just Michele, who debuted two months ago at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Cumbridge</span> Hash and is now a virgin hare!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bag Car:</span> Cougar Consulting<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Where: </span>Tavern on the Square in Porter...1815 Mass Ave...take Red line to Porter, turn left as you exit, don't cross any major roads (too dangerous for you wankers!), Tavern is on the right. Trail WILL NOT necessarily be marked from the T. But seriously, it is simple...even simple enough for YOU.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Friday, Jan. 23, 6.30 HST<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Promises:</span><br /><ul><li> A bi-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">athalon</span> of sorts--you may just like skating for the other team.</li><li> Hot (or at least lukewarm) chocolate on trail. (Yes, yes, with peppermint schnapps)</li><li> Cold. And more cold. Please please dress warmly. Drink checks and circle will be outside and we don't want to listen to you whine. Plastic bags over your socks will get you heckled-- 'grow some balls!' --but will also keep you warm.</li></ul>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-38671999556065513532008-12-20T23:13:00.000-08:002009-01-03T09:18:52.883-08:00The Cumbridge Pre-Holiday Hash TrashWho cares about copious amounts of sleet, snow or rain? Cumbridge still hashes! We're the fucking postal service of hashing, bitches! Six brave souls showed up to hash with Cumbridge this Friday despite the lack of a bag car or even visibility.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hare:</span> Krusty the Meat Miser<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack:</span> Pubic Service Announcement, Sugar Plum Fairy, High Anus, Cum is Kosher, 'Ed Master and General Ass Pounder (aka GAP)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pre-lube:</span> Whitney's Cafe in Harvard Square<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-In:</span> Sports Depot Restaurant, Allston, MA (Cumbridge, not just ending on the red line anymore!)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On-After:</span> The Pill @ Great Scott, Allston, MA<br /><br />Trail began when the hare broke the news that, no Virginia, there wasn't a bag car. As the pack came to terms with the idea of carrying their bags through the snow the hare, using chalk and a printed map in the corner of the bar, did some recalculating (read: drinking) and trimmed trail from 3.3 miles to 2. Yay cartography!<br /><br />While the pack continued to stay warm with cold beer and straight up shots, shouts of 'Hares away' sent me packing and into the snow drifts of Harvard Square. Trail wound through Harvard, over the JFK bridge into the Harvard athletic fields, over a few fences and out onto Wester Ave in Allston. The pack, however, never knew any of this. The beers were too cold and the shots too good so by the time they left the bar, the bright blue trail marks had been covered by falling snow.<br /><br />PSA, who would later drink for using technology on trail called the hare 3 times for a trail update. She had to speak loudly to be heard over the sounds of the snow orgy that was occurring in the background. After the 3rd call, the hare realized that nearly 5 lbs of bright blue flour had gone unseen by the pack. He backtracked to a bus stop on N. Harvard St where the pack, hauling their bags, caught up. The last mile of trail was quick as the pack only gave the hare 6.9 seconds before tearing through the snow after him.<br /><br />Reservations had been made for a back room at the on-in, Sports Depot Restaurant, in order to avoid disturbing the norms. This proved unnecessary as the pack doubled the number of customers in this fine establishment. Still, beer was ordered and the back room doubled as a changing room while cries of "Trail of the year!" (sarcasm) and "Naked snow angels for the hare!" (not sarcasm) were heard.<br /><br />The waiter tried to seat the pack but was instead told that dark rituals (aka 'circle') needed to be performed first.<br /><br />After a gathering of the pack and a down-down for the hare by GAP, it was Krusty the Meat Miser who took over. In addition to the usual FRB/FBI, visitor and smaht kid down-downs, there were 2 Cumbridge namings this circle.<br /><br />Cum is Kosher declared herself a Cumbridge virgin and was summarily demented by High Anus (and the peanut gallery) before proving herself worthy of hashing on the Red Line. From this day forward, Cum is Kosher shall be known as Cougar Consulting (motto: mauling younger men since 2004) in the CH3.<br /><br />GAP, also a Cumbridge virgin kneeled in circle and was given the CH3 moniker TittyHead due to PSAs rack fitting snugly atop his head when at that height.<br /><br />Namings were also attempted for both Krusty and PSA but they hadn't done anything galactically dumb enough to merit a Cumbridge name.<br /><br />Finally, the condom down-down was performed (sans condom) by someone.<br /><br />Circle was wrapped with a rousing version of 'Today is Monday' and the pack then summoned the frightened waiter to serve them. After changing back into now semi-dry clothes, the pack trudged through the snow to Great Scott to do some dancing at the Pill. Fuck the weather, we're hashing!<br /><br />On-PostalServiceOfHashingBitches-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-54479814904135732792008-12-16T19:38:00.000-08:002008-12-16T19:39:48.550-08:00CH3 Hash #15: The Cumbridge Pre-Holiday HashHave the holidays got you stressed out? In need of a party that has nothing to do with Christmas? Looking to drink beer instead of egg nog and forget about all the shopping you STILL have to do? Then this hash is for you...<br /><br />What: The CH3 Pre-Holiday Hash<br />When: Friday, 12/19 @ 630 HST<br />Where: Pre-lube is Whitney's Cafe, 37 JFK St, Cambridge, MA. Trail will be marked from the Harvard T Stop (but only the main T stop where the protesters, crazy bums and skater kids hang out. Wankers coming from the bus T stop will be fending for themselves. Use googlemaps bitches!).<br /> Who: Krusty the Meat Miser and a bag car TBD<br /><br />NOTE: I currently need a bag car. Hash cash is waived for bag car and I will offer you $5 in gas money, please email me if interested.<br /><br />Hash cash is $5 for beer only. On-in will offer food and a chance to embarrass yourself in front of non-hashers by singing out of tune. There will also be an optional dancey on-after with a $5 cover.<br /><br />On-drinkholidaystressaway-on,<br /><span style="color:#888888;">Krusty the Meat Miser</span>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-1974610014585564992008-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:002008-11-08T09:19:12.303-08:00CH3 Hash #14: Return to Cumbridge!All you wankers missed an amazing trail last night laid by Wang Chunks and me. There was also a bag car...Stretch something. Pictures will be posted soon of Fire in the Hole drinking from a FUCKING CONDOM! WOOOOOOOOO! It looked really awkward and awesome. She'll find out this morning if she's allergic to latex.<br /><br />On-sweatyhugsandkisses-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-13593482819975638582008-08-12T10:00:00.000-07:002008-08-12T10:12:28.627-07:00CH3 Hash #13: Summer Beer Mile!Has it really been a whole year? It seems like only yesterday that the inaugoral Cumbridge hash baptized Magazine St beach with beer, running and booting. Let's celebrate the first analversary of the CH3 with the Summer BEER Mile! It's your only chance to do a Cumbridge BEER mile until the winter! Come on out to see who's fast, who's slow and, most importantly, who boots.<br /><br />A beer mile involves 4 quarter miles and 4 beers. Drink a beer, run a lap. Do it 4 times and you've completed a beer mile. Congratulations! Any vomiting results in running a penalty lap but not a penalty beer. Click <a href="http://www.beermile.com/faq.beer#rules">here</a> for complete rules.<br /><br />When: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday, Aug 15th</span> @ 615pm HST, heading to Magazine St Beach at 645pm.<br /><br />Where: Meeting @ <span style="font-weight: bold;">River Gods</span>, 125 River St, Cambridge, MA. Trail will be marked from Central Square T on the Red Line.<br /><br />Hash Cash: $5 for runners and spectators, beer for all (yay!) but food not included.<br /><br />Be there to kick off another year of hashing in Cumbridge!<br /><br />On-beermiletimeagain-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-15745657944473320982008-07-13T09:06:00.001-07:002008-07-13T11:58:24.950-07:00Hash Trash: The Dick My Duck HashThis hash was co-scribed by Krusty the Meat Miser and Jolly Green Vagina and is, as usual, guaranteed 69% accurate.<br /><br />Hares: SATRAC, Bend Over Mommy, Dick Me Duck and Spunk in the Trunk (bag car)<br /><br />Pack: Krusty the Meat Miser, Jolly Green Vagina, Shorn Scrotum, Peppermint Pussy, Just 'Stina, 'Edmaster, You Oughta Blow, Schindler's Fist, Goat Throat, I Eat Cum (HVH3), Just Leanne, Tequila Tony (from Seattle, pre-lube only), Crucifux, Nice Tits, Floppy Dick, High Anus, Spoonful of Semen, Gay Pride, NAMBLA, Sucks Hard for the $, Just Wells, Virgin Susanne, Just Johnathon, Virgin Joaquim (spontaneous virgin), Unlikely to Finish (spontaneous virgin)<br /><br />After work on Friday, the Cumbridge hash gathered at Tommy Doyle's smack in the middle of happy hour. Hashers watched guys "buy drinks" for ladies in hopes of seeing them topless later in the evening. We all wondered why they didn't just wait for a tit check. I love the hash.<br /><br />Tequila Tony, a visitor from Seattle, joined us for a BEvERage at the pre-lube but had to rush of for a business meeting or a sex-change operation, we're still not really sure. Dick Me Duck also made a frisky appearance as he gently caressed Just Stina and was tag teamed by both Stina and Peppermint Pussy (I believe there's picture evidence). The hares had been away 6.9 minutes when the pack circled for chalk talk, RA'd by Krusty. 2 virgins joined us from the bar, one of whom dubbed himself "Unlikely to Finish." Marks were typical except for the Quack Check, which results in lots of quacking and confusion. After introductions, chalk talk and a single verse of "Hey, my name is Joe" the pack was away with an innocent bystander asking I Eat Cum what was going on. IEC answered the dude with his duck call until he gave up .<br /><br />Trail wound through Kendall Square, eventually bringing the pack to the classic MIT pub, the Muddy Charles. The pack had 10 PITCHERS to finish, leaving plenty of time for loud hash conversations. When informed of the ridiculous amount of beer, JGV decided he was going to "pass out in my car at Alewife, puke a few times and then go home." I Eat Cum, a visitor, was impressed to be drinking in such a smart bar. So impressed, that he wore a bag on his foot and tried reading a magazine upside down. It's likely that he's slightly retarded.<br /><br />The drunk, wobbly pack was away again, this time through the tunnels of MIT, through the tennis courts and near the dog park with the cannons, not far from the BU Bridge. The pack enjoyed spiked gatorade while Nice Tits got down in the dirt to "examine" Krusty's broken "knee". Afterwards she exclaimed "I'm a dirty, dirty whore."<br /><br />After the beer check, trail quickly found its way to the classiest joint in Cumbridge, the duck/homeless haven right next to the BU bridge. A large flcok of ducks were quickly scared away by overzealous hashers who may have wanted to screw them. Only I Eat Cum, using his duck call, tried to seduce them.<br /><br />Krusty RA'd circle, rallying the pack with a rousing "Circle up wankers!" and a mention of the "climax" of this running of the CH3.<br /><br />The hares were given comments on trail like "duckalicious", "nice tunnels" and "fuck the ducks!" They were seranaded with "You're a Shitty Hare" before their down-down of warm Coors Light (aka FUCKING WATER).<br /><br />Next up were the FRB/FBI (High Anus/Just Leanne) and 'Ed Master, for wearing a racist shirt, who demonstated the Cumbridge down-down to our 3 virgins. One of the keys to the CH3 down-down is inverting your vessel because what doesn't go in you, goes on you, just like sucking cock.<br /><br />The DALs were 'Ed Master and Nice Tits. Anyone who dressed for the occasion was brought in for the Ducks on Trail down-down. The virgins were summarily demented by Peppermint Pussy. Unlikely to Finish was also demented by his proxy sponsor, I Eat Cum, who was wearing a kilt. Just a kilt. We had 2 visitors in circle, I Eat Cum and Goat Throat who proudly showed us some skin, the skin on their ballsacks. The smaht kids down-down punished anyone associated with MIT or Harvard (intelligence is NOT an STD, kids). Unlikely to Finish also drank for using a phone in circle because his "mom was worried about him." She was worried about the entire hash AFTER THEY HAD SEX WITH HER LAST NIGHT!<br /><br />Just Stina has been hashing 7 times and was due for a name, so she was pulled into the circley mess. We found out that she's a lawyer, "acts" in the Rocky Horror Picture Show and lost her virginity to a guy who was a little too big. She was not named Oink the Doink, Fuck Work I'm Cumming, Prostitorney, Legal Queefs, Designaeted Clitter or Rocky's Whore. Instead, because she was tied to a bed in front of 7 people, she was named Legally Bound and Gagged!<br /><br />Next up were sweat test failures NAMBLA and Sucks Hard for the $. Then the Ladies of the 80s had a down-down, along with NAMBLA and Goat Throat for some reason. Finally, the infamous condom down-down needed to be designated. Nominations included Nice Tits for getting the "easy to blow" duck call, Gay Pride for phone in circle, Unlikely to Finish for calling his mom and Jolly Green Vagina for...I honestly can't remember. The applausemeter made JGV the winner of a latex, non-lubricated beer vessel.<br /><br />Announcements were made and circle was closed with "Today is Monday." The pack gradually made its way to American Hi-Fi in Central for more beer and terrible pizza.<br /><br />Overheard on trail:<br />It took 4 games of Beirut until I could drink again. - Just Johnathon<br /><br />You're reading the paper upside down. - Krusty to IEC in the Muddy Charles<br />And I've got a bag on my foot, so what? - IEC's response<br /><br />Write that shit down on your fucking paper! - IEC<br /><br />I hope you drown, let your ducks save you now. - IEC<br /><br />Friends don't cum on friends bags. - 'Ed Master<br /><br />You hate geese and the word vagina, what else? - Crucifux to You Oughta Blow<br /><br />on-quack-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-24788005173178012102008-07-04T13:19:00.000-07:002008-07-05T17:31:21.690-07:00CH3 Hash #12: Dick my Duck!!!fI it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and drinks like a<br />duck . . it must be a hasher dressed like a duck. Come out and<br />celebrate the <a href="http://www.duckholiday.co.uk/2008/07/the-oakland-rubber-ducky-derby-">Rubber Ducky Derby Day</a>!<br /><br />When: Friday, July 11, 2008, 6:30 HST<br />Where: <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=tommy+doyle%27s,+cambridge,+ma&ie=UTF8&ll=42.3763,-71.120338&spn=0.057826,0.150375&z=13&iwloc=A">Tommy Doyle's</a>, One Kendall Square #100, Cambridge MA<br />Nearest T Stop: Kendall Square, Red Line (Trail will be marked from the T)<br />Hares: SATRAC, Bend Over Mommy & Dick Me Duck<br />Dress: Your bestest waterfowl attire. Feathers. . . beaks. . .feathers . . .webbed feet. . . and a quacker.<br /><p>On-Quack-On<br />SATRAC & BOM</p>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-72926893006692753652008-07-01T18:49:00.000-07:002008-07-05T17:40:38.000-07:00Hash Trash: Fri the 13th Change Your Luck HashDue to the lack of scribe for this hash, this recounting of the Change Your Luck Hash is guaranteed to be only 6.9% accurate.<br /><br />Hare(s): Drippy Spigot, Krusty the Meat Miser, G-String (as gay bag car)<br />Pack: Floppy Dick, Bleeps Sweeps and Creeps, Nipples Erectus, Just Stina, Beat By a Girl, Dude Where's My Virginity, SATRAC, Crucifux, General Ass Pounder, Tonya Hardon, Pubic Service Announcement, Jolly Green Vagina, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Spoonful of Semen, Just Ricki (now Clamburglar), Nice Tits (crippled, rode in bag car), Taj My Hole (Sweat Test Failure), 8 virgins and a few others, alcohol clearly prevented me from remembering the entire pack.<br /><br />Thanks to Fri the 13th, the entire hash was at risk of bad luck. The only way to fight it was numerically, with 7 BEER CHECKS within 4 miles (see trail map below). Previous trails had promised a shitload of alcohol checks, so the pack may have been expecting a paltry 3 or 4 beer checks to substitute for 7. But, these hares don't fuck around.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>BC#1: Shots of Lemon Drop Schnapps<br />BC#2: Shitty beer in a park<br />BC#3: Spiked Watermelon<br />BC#4: More shitty beer at Krusty's<br />BC#5: Jello shots<br />BC#6: Shitty beer at PSA's<br />BC#7: Spiked Gatorade in a park<br />On-in: Tonya Hardon's basement<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GofmF6mkZ2NbimqayGl1mkT-a-oE-z5FMuAm_3LEDGbyU65Ch380VC_ISTsJ2BVUkjAh6O0_IAa3yZKX12w010L6LkhUtFyjja22EYLfPWDbGw0nGf5k3h0xkilpcd9WSS7fEM1z-SZs/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GofmF6mkZ2NbimqayGl1mkT-a-oE-z5FMuAm_3LEDGbyU65Ch380VC_ISTsJ2BVUkjAh6O0_IAa3yZKX12w010L6LkhUtFyjja22EYLfPWDbGw0nGf5k3h0xkilpcd9WSS7fEM1z-SZs/s400/Picture+1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219689378384409842" border="0" /></a><br />Crucifux RA'd loudly and unprofessionally (hashlike behavior!). There were down-downs for the hares, partial nudity as evidenced by anonymous shots of bearded clam on my camera, and 8 virgin dementings. The entire pack was really drunk by this point and nobody had a beer-proof notebook handy. One down-down, however, was worth documenting.<br /><br />The pack was warned early on to hold on to the red solo cups they received at the beginning of trail. Their reward at the end was beer in circle. Floppy Dick, however, lost his cup just before circle. Finally, the elusive Cumbridge down-down is caught on film...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwK4uneeJbMqOlmA8iqivtKbaDhYxGAKe9mwQ3vCupqAtIE8xWnUsbbAqBqg_gPr7aAXXG6PGM9d7R4AVXhmw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />On-On,<br />Krusty the Meat Miser<br /></div>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-62891112602222581362008-06-09T19:59:00.000-07:002008-06-09T20:14:32.566-07:00The CH3 Fri the 13th Change Your Luck Hash!!!1!1!!Cumbridge H3 presents...<br /><b>The Fri the 13th Change Your Luck Hash-stravaganza</b><br />Friday, June 13, 2008<br />Start Location: The Cellar, 991 Mass Ave, Cambridge (Between Central and Harvard T stops. Trail NOT marked from T, use google maps you lazy bastards.)<br />Start Time: 6:30pm HST<br />Hash Cash: $5 (beer and shots only, no food included!)<br />Hares: Drippy Spigot, Krusty the Meat Miser and a mystery harriette<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />We all know that Friday the 13th is an unlucky day even without all the black cats crossing your path and mirrors (or condoms) breaking. To bring some good vibes to hashers and the city of Cumbridge, Drippy and I will be numerically combating bad luck. How, you ask? Why, with the lucky number seven, as in SEVEN beer/shot checks.<br /><br />You'll also need your lucky cup (it'll be a red solo cup handed to you at the pre-lube). Don't lose it on trail because "if you drop your cup, you'll have bad luck." And if anyone thinks I made that up, I'm really not very clever. Just drunk. And usually half naked. Fine, completely naked. What is this, an inquisition? Anyway, less about me and more about how drunk you'll all be after SEVEN ALCOHOL CHECKS! Summer drinks and shitty beer are guaranteed!<br /><br />Finally, if you missed the last Cumbridge hash, here's a picture that may convince you to show up for this one...<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju9j0r7C75IytVW8wQ8Bfy_X_wET70p9pkv4Ongmp7IiDFu3kB_cHlRUYCsA5izzRI348DU-Nj8oACZd88mB4PjhUUCPL3TQMTJxx7h6XcDsK7pZOsUTikJQw7T7fFBwfa2cmljrcGYkiX/s1600-h/IMG_0194.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju9j0r7C75IytVW8wQ8Bfy_X_wET70p9pkv4Ongmp7IiDFu3kB_cHlRUYCsA5izzRI348DU-Nj8oACZd88mB4PjhUUCPL3TQMTJxx7h6XcDsK7pZOsUTikJQw7T7fFBwfa2cmljrcGYkiX/s320/IMG_0194.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210085718885874338" border="0" /></a>On second thought, ignore the picture and come to the hash to change your luck.<br /><br />On-SEVENalcoholchecks-on,<br /><br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-14426146438954492002008-05-04T19:59:00.000-07:002008-05-04T20:37:36.009-07:00Hash Trash: Spring Beer MileThis recounting of last Friday's Spring Beer Mile is in chronological order and guaranteed 69% accurate.<br /><br />Hare(s): Krusty the Meat Miser, Wang Chunks<br />Pack: G-String, Bend Over Mommy, Corn on the Cock, You Oughta Blow, Super Teflon Dong, Sugar Plum Fairy, Just Doug, Nipples Erectus (spectator), SATRAC (spectator), Tonya Hardon (spectator)<br /><br />The weather was wet and slightly cold, just like your mom. I had some doubts as to whether the 4th Cumbridge beer mile would go off until I walked into Riverside Pizza and saw 2 dedicated hashers, G-String and Bend Over Mommy. They weren't making out, primarily because BOM isn't a dude.<br /><br />More hashers gathered around our table and soon we were approached by a big dude asking what sport we played and if the game was rained out? We told him about our drinking club with a running problem, but he was skeptical. A few minutes later I took out the orange cones used to "officially" mark the beer mile course. He KNEW we were on a sports team then and asked again what our deal was. I decided to be honest and enlighten this man with an explanation of the beer mile. His response was, and I quote "I may not be from the same university as you but I'm no dummy. Go fuck yourself." Being a prophet of the beer mile isn't easy.<br /><br />The pack left Riverside Pizza to the calls of "bag apartment" because the bags were stashed in my kitchen on the way to Magazine Beach. The hare was away to lay a short trail to the start and stunt RA Nips led the pack in a single-verse of "Hey, My Name is Joe." Unfortunately for the dudes, the harriettes mistook the lone tit check on trail for an eyeball check, though they did scout trail.<br /><br />Once at the "beach", Wang Chunks magically appeared with 2 cases of PBR and Sugar Plum Fairy magically appeared with 2 cases of his bad self. The course was laid (unlike many of the hashers) and the beer distributed. Some hashers de-clothed at that point to reduce drag. G-String tore off his usual gay running gear to reveal gayer running gear. It was a Jazz jersey, quickly renamed the jizz jersey. Then, the rules were explained, the pack was off. Krusty was the first finisher at 10:23 with You Oughta Blow coming at 12:12. There was a single boot, but it was fantastic. Bend Over Mommy refunded what appeared to be all 4 of her PBRs into the Charles immediately after finishing her last lap.<br /><br />Once Just Doug finished, circle began. The down-downs went something like this...<br /><br />Hares: Wang Chunks, Krusty<br />CH3 Virgins: Super Teflon Dong, Just Doug<br />FRB/FBI/Overachievers: Wang Chunks/You Oughta Blow/G-String (gay jersey)<br />DFLs: Just Doug, Corn on the Cock<br />6.9th Place: Super Teflon Dong<br />SMAHT Kids (went to, works at, or had sex with someone from MIT or Harvard): SATRAC, Super Teflon Dong, Wang Chunks<br /><br />Now, the condom down-down was famously premiered by the man without a gag reflex, Goat Throat. It now has a permanent place in Cumbridge and is given based on stupidity. The accused were...<br /><br />SATRAC - Burning down a bunch of drugs but not inhaling the fumes.<br />G-String - The gay jizz jersey, again.<br />Super Teflon Dong - Refusing G-String's offer to "yank on his penis." <-- Scribe's words!<br />Corn on the Cock - Falling asleep on the potty at Crossroads and waking up to a locked bar AND doing the same thing at Tonya Hardon's apartment.<br /><br />The winner (and loser), by applause, was Corn on the Cock and my only regret is not having any photo evidence. Watching a hasher drink from a condom is never going to get old. Circle was then wrapped up with "Today is Monday" and the pack headed to Hi-Fi pizza and then Phoenix Landing.<br /><br />Other quotes: "G-String is gay, unbelievably gay." - written by the scribe<br />"My ball and chain thinks I went running" - G-String<br />"Wait 5 minutes, then I'll be drunk enough to have sex with you." - You Oughta Blow, waiting for the beer to hit just after finishing the beer mile<br />"Intelligence is not an STD." - Wang Chunks reciting the Cumbridge motto<br /><br />On-beermile-on,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-31517793902000389542008-04-22T19:15:00.000-07:002008-04-30T21:22:58.080-07:00CH3 Hash #10: The Spring BEER MileIt's Spring, and the change of seasons brings with it yet another debaucharous Cumbridge Beer Mile. Come on out to see who's fast, who's slow and, most importantly, who boots.<br /><br />A beer mile involves 4 quarter miles and 4 beers. Drink a beer, run a lap. Do it 4 times and you've completed a beer mile. Congratulations! Any vomiting results in running a penalty lap but not a penalty beer. Click <a href="http://www.beermile.com/faq.beer#rules">here</a> for complete rules.<br /><br />Crazy on-after times in Central Square!<br /><br />When: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday, May 2nd</span> @ 630pm HST, heading to Magazine St Beach at 700pm.<br /><br />Where: Meeting @ Riverside Pizza, 305 River St, Cambridge, MA. Trail will be marked from Central Square T on the Red Line.<br /><br />Hash Cash: $5 for runners and spectators, beer for all (yay!) but food not included.<br /><br />Who: Dumb, dumb half-minds. That means you! And me!<br /><br />On-BEERMILEANDBOOTING-On,<br />Krusty the Meat MiserKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-74930169928540609662008-04-22T19:07:00.000-07:002008-04-22T19:12:35.260-07:00Hash Trash: The Big Lebowski HashThe Cumbridge Hash House Harriers hosted the kickoff for the Boston H3 Marathon WEEKend. Our mega-scribe DEEP Black Hole wrote up this trash of the event...<br /><br /> Date: Tuesday, April 15, 2008<br />Hares: Shorn Scr*tum & Nice T*ts<br />Bag Car: Wang Chunks<br />Pre-Lube: Newtowne Grille<br />Beer Check #1: Parking Lot close to Davis Square, right off the bike path<br />Beer Check #2: By a sewer/makeout spot near Alewife Parking Garage<br />On-In: Clearing in Alewife Park Area<br />On-After: Lanes & Games<br />Distance: 3.6 Miles<br />Weather: 50 degrees, later a bit nipplely out<br />Scribe: DEEP Black Hole<br /><br />The Pack:<br /><br />G-String, Floppy D*ck, Snatchsquash, Patriot Missles, P*ss Stop, DEEP Black Hole, Chocolate Starfish, An*l Beads, Pub*c Service Announcement, Crucifux, Just Jim, NAMBLA, Krusty the Meat Miser, Jolly Green V*gina, Sucks Hard For The Money, Just Kelly, Goes Down On Buoys, Bisexual Bondage B*tch, Peppermint P*ssy, You Oughta Blow, Stretch P*ssy, High An*s<br /><br />Late Cummers:<br /><br />N*pples Erectus, Headmaster<br /><br />Introduction:<br /><br />This hash was called the Big Lebowski Hash, or the T-5 and counting. Yes, some of you may have heard that your dear scribe, DEEP Black Hole, is moving to Outer Space. It's true! Well, for liberal values of Outer Space. Okay, so I'm moving to Texas (for good this time). But I am sending people into space, so let's just call it even. At any rate, my personal m*rathon goal for this week is to run every single trail and write up a hash trash for every single one. We'll see how sober these hash trashes are by the end of it. :-P<br /><br />Anyway, a good sized pack gathered at Newtowne Grille in Porter for the Cumbridge H3 M*arathon week(end) kick-off. Many were wearing bathrobes and bowling shirts. NAMBLA had a carpet with him, which he dutifully carried throughout the entire run. After most hashers had HUGE beers, the pack was off.<br /><br />Trail:<br /><br />Trail started out as a bit of a clusterf*ck, while the pack tried to figure out where trail actually went. It turned out straight, unlike G-String (see quotes section below). Trail wound past some houses, through a construction site (which was excellent), and over a somewhat hoppable fence. From there, trail eventually went past a park, where there were TWO Checkbacks. I think we ran past some projects, but I have a hard time identifying projects. From there, the pack ran through what could be best described as a tunnel with many metal butterflies decorating it inside. Some hashers were beat up by a 12-year-old boy who kept parroting "Where are you!?" by a park. Just past him was a song check by the baseball diamond of some park, where the pack sang a verse of "When the End of the Month Rolls Around", which eventually broke into Hog Calling Time.<br /><br />The pack continued past another park, upon which Buoys said "I know where we are - we're near Davis." I'm glad he knew, because I had no idea. We were soon on the bike path/trail that is near Davis, but a Checkback "guided" us to a chink in the fence and a parking lot where Wang Chunk's "Extremely large and polluting truck" (to quote Krusty) was parked. The pack was served White Russians, which probably has something to do with the Big Lebowski movie, but I wouldn't know.<br /><br />The pack continued on through Somerville, going through an industrial-like area, back onto the Davis Bike Trail, through to Alewife, into the T, up, down, around backwards on the stairs, into the parking garage, past those weird wooden phallic-looking benches, and by the side of the parking garage to a place that smelled like sewage. While on trail, the pack discussed if Hilliary Clinton is a Lesbian or not. Beercheck number 2 apparently interrupted two people making out behind the parking garage. The first question is, does sewage make them hot? That's interesting.<br /><br />The pack delighted in some beer, as we tend to do. G-String apparently picked up a Hilliary Clinton for President sign while on trail and stuck it to his *ss. Nips showed up with her b*tch, except her b*tch is actually male (I'm talking about the dog, people). As much as the pack was enjoying the stench of the area, we continued on trail.<br /><br />The third section of trail was short, going through the Alewife parkway to a Song Check by a Soccer field. Somebody said Head (Who said Head) so there was more of a chanting than anything. At this point, it was very dark but the pack ran anyway across the soccer field and into the woods, encountering pricker and another sh*t stream. Luckily, the On-In (a clearing that didn't have a sh*t stream) was close by.<br /><br />Circle:<br /><br />Before circle, there was a ceremonial peeing on the rug that NAMBLA carried the entire trail. Even some Harriettes took place. Luckily, nobody had to kneel on the rug after that.<br /><br />Krusty was RA for the evening. The hares, Shorn Scrot*m and Nice T*ts were brought into the circle and as is the tradition of the Cumbridge Hash, they were sang the song "You're a Sh*tty Hare". Circle past that is a bit hazy, mostly because I was writing in the dark half the time, and borrowing Buoy's nerd headlamp the other half.<br /><br />FBI was Crucifux and FRB was An*l Beads. Because they are overacheivers, they were asked to demonstrate a sexual position, and thus showed the pack how to do doggy-style. G-String was accused of being a Racist because of his apparel choices. Jolly Green V*gina was accused of being Dead Last. He commented "G-String left something in my trunk, and it's still there." G-String also hosted a short trail last Sunday, so he did a down-down for being a wanker.<br /><br />N*ipples Erectus, Snatchsquash, and Bisexual Bondage B*tch failed sweat tests. Just Jin was declared to be a virgin again for the Cumbridge Hash, and did a pseudo-virgin down-down. From here, the following accusations occured. Names...who needs names. You know who you were. And for the rest of you, you can guess!<br /><br />Smaaaat Kids down-down - all MIT kids and those who have f*cked MIT kids (this was was quite enlightening, I must say)<br /><br />Ladies of the 80s (all harriettes born in the 1980s) and those who coach Ladies of the 80s (Goes Down on Buoys)<br /><br />Those hashers who are leaving Boston soon and had a birthday this week (DEEP Black Hole), joined by all April Birthday Hashers<br /><br />Non-Lebowski's (those who didn't dress up or carry rugs per the movie), which was most of the pack.<br /><br />Gyno on Trail (Buoys, because of his headlamp). But, it turns out that Buoys FAKED his down-down by not opening his can of beer. Thus, he was forced to do a shotgun down-down. Let this all be a warning to you.<br /><br />Wearing a Hilliary for President Sign on his *ss - G-String<br /><br />Smacking a Hilliary for President Sign affixed to someone's *ss - Wang Chunks<br /><br />All Gay Hashers (G-String, NAMBLA, Jolly Green Vagina, etc.)<br /><br />Chicks who have made out with chicks. This one prompted Snatchsquash and Nice T*ts to start making out - no joke.<br /><br />Backsliders - Patriot Missles, Just Jim, NAMBLA, Just Kelly<br /><br />All those hashers who hadn't done down-down yet.<br /><br />Terrorist Beards: Floppy D*ck, Jolly Green Vagina, Headmaster, An*l Beads, Krusty.<br /><br />Have gone on a Gay Date accidentally: G-String, and others<br /><br />Have experimented, either sexually or in a science-way (yay Chemistry!)<br /><br />Ginger Kids! (High An*s, Krusty)<br /><br />Dressing up in Millitary Attire (NAMBLA)<br /><br />Short People - All the short hashers, including Sucks Hard For the Money, Peppermint P*ssy, and An*l Beads<br /><br />Lebowski Dress-Ups: NAMBLA, Krusty, Crucifux, Pub*c Service Announcement<br /><br />At this point, it was very nipply out, so the pack ended circle with swing low, and continued on to the On-After. Yes, if you've made it this far, there's more!<br /><br />On After:<br /><br />The On-After was at Lanes & Games, a bowling alley not too far from Alewife. Because everybody and their mother was bowling 10-pin, the pack got their shoes and bowled Candlepin, which isn't easy when you're tipsy. Headmaster and I had an interesting exchange with a civilian bowling at the lane next to us.<br /><br />Random Guy (to Headmaster): Hey, two things. Number one - Awesome beard dude. Number two, what color is my ball? (holding up his 10-pin bowling ball)<br />DEEP Black Hole: I think it's Orange.<br />Headmaster: Yeah, Orange. Or Red.<br />RG (nodding & talking to friends): See?<br />HM: But it's still Gay.<br />(RG's friends burst out laughing, and RG looks downtrodden because he has a Gay ball).<br /><br />Anyway, a few hashers bowled a bit. As the time was nearing midnight, a group of us took off towards the T, including me, Headmaster, NAMBLA, Sucks Hard For The Money, and Just Kelly. NAMBLA had with him a porno mag that he got from a bowling alley employee. I'm not sure if he should have touched that because probably half the bowling alley wacked off on that. Anyway, he started reading it Kindergarden-teacher storybook-style to us on the T. I think the whole car got an education on that one.<br /><br />Announcements:<br /><br />It's T-4 Today Folks! That means...there's another chance to go hashing! A summary of what's going on:<br /><br />T-4 (Wednesday): JPH3 Hash at 6:30 HST starting from JJ Foley's Fireside Tavern, 30 Hyde Park Ave, Jamaica Plain (Forrest Hills Orange Line)<br />(<a href="http://maps./" target="_blank">http://maps.</a><br /><a href="http://google.com/" target="_blank">google.com/</a> maps?q=30+ Hyde+Park+ Ave&sourceid= navclient-<br />ff&ie=UTF- 8&rlz=1B2GGGL_ enUS208NG208& um=1&sa=N&<br />tab=wl)<br /><br />T-3 (Thursday): Boston Moon Hash at 6:30 HST starting from the Milky Way Bar (Orange Line to Jackson Square and follow marks down Centre St.)<br /><br />Hold on the Count (Friday): Pub Crawl - go to the Marathon Page for more details (<a href="http://www.bostonhash.com/marathon08/" target="_blank">http://www.bostonhash.com<wbr>/marathon08/</a>)<br /><br />T-2 (Saturday): The Boston M*rathon Hash. Dress up like a Lady 'cause It's Ladies Night! Registration from 12-2, Pack away at 2:30. McFadden's (148 State Street). Take the Blue Line to State.<br /><br />T-1 (Sunday): Hangover Hash, 11 am HST, FREE with M*rathon Registration (otherwise $10). 21 Beacon St, Boston MA, Room 10D.<br /><br />Lift OFF! (T-0) (Monday): The actual M*rathon! Come out, hang out with the hash, and hand out beer to r*nners! See (<a href="http://www.bostonhash.com/marathon08/" target="_blank">http://www.bostonhash.com<wbr>/marathon08/</a>)<br /><br />Want to print all this out on paper so that way you don't have to carry your computer around with you? Go to <a href="http://www.crazyhap/" target="_blank">http://www.crazyhap</a> <a href="http://penings.com/" target="_blank">penings.com/</a> marathon. doc.<br /><br />Quotes:<br /><br />"You can park yourself in my driveway!" - Shorn Scr*tum<br /><br />"G-String F*cked a Goat!" - G-String<br /><br />"Pardon me, but could you please fondle my burrito?" - G-String<br /><br />"Hey, we're Queer!" - G-String<br /><br />"G-String has a Tight Butt" - Wang Chunks<br /><br />"I would hump him like...severely" - Bisexual Bondage B*tch, about some mystery hasher<br /><br />"I wonder what would happen to my ass if I was wearing McCain" - G-String<br /><br />"G-String definitely Spits" - Krusty<br /><br />"G-String is giving me another Facial tonight!" - Jolly Green Vagina<br /><br />"I would get off to An*l Beads & Krusty" - Mystery Male Hasher! Guess Who!<br /><br />"In Montreal, you get to touch the boobies!" - NAMBLAKrusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-31820679664654404652008-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:002008-03-24T11:24:58.566-07:00Hash Trash: Rock Band Hash-stravaganzaThis recounting of the Rock Band Hash-stravaganza is mostly a pictorial study as the scribe was laying trail while most of you wankers were doing and saying stupid shit.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hare(s):</span> Wang Chunks, Krusty the Meat Miser<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bag Car:</span> Nice Tits, Just Jinn<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pack:</span> Goat Throat, Bend Over Mommy, High Anus, Drippy Spigot, Crucifux, Wooden Eye Fuck Her In The Ass, 1-900-CUM-4KIX, Save a Tree Ride a Cowboy, Nipples Erectus, Piss Stop, Ken Doll, European Whore, Shorn Scrotum, Peppermint Pussy, Stretch Pussy, Dude Where's My Virginity, Catheter the Great, G-String, Goes Down on Buoys, The Sound, The Furry, Just Katie, Virgin 'stina, Virgin Anthony, Bleeps Sweeps and Creeps (Seacoast H3), Catcher in the Thighs (visitor)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Late Cummers: </span>Taj My Hole, Sugar Plum Fairy, Snatchsquatch, DEEP Black Hole<br /><br />Hi-Fi in Central is known for cardboard pizza slices that taste great when you're hammered at 3am. Aside from that, it serves beer and was the launching point for the Rock Band Hash on Friday, Mar 14th. Trail began across Mass Ave and quickly went into Central Square, only to wind south down Brookline Ave to a healthy checkback. It brought the pack through a dog park, with several mounted cannons. Though an ideal place for a shotgun check, the hares opted to have the pack work a bit harder for lukewarm cans of Natural Ice.<br /><br />Trail then circled around the MIT athletic fields and eventually on them towards the track. This is where the hares had the pleasure of watching a confused pack from the top of a parking garage across the street. Eventually, trail was found across the street and over the railroad tracks to a check. The pack ran parallel to the tracks and proceeded to run RIGHT BY the next mark on some stairs. The stairs led to a footbridge, which High Anus found using his Rock-Star-sense. The pack trickled in, thirsty for their cans of Miller High Life and Natural Ice.<br /><br />The Beer Check...<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNsLeP7YuWk-bcV9Y0cpDOyAse3JvKxhgrPpP-A-St5LknKw-_TQ9tjSYVvOFs3p67fLtIkvpuYyLxvhxtRSoRpVydZrSlQGJbwoHKwcOpKDQmnFg01VD5Q_K4fND28wS_7Mub-S634JVQ/s1600-h/CIMG1607.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNsLeP7YuWk-bcV9Y0cpDOyAse3JvKxhgrPpP-A-St5LknKw-_TQ9tjSYVvOFs3p67fLtIkvpuYyLxvhxtRSoRpVydZrSlQGJbwoHKwcOpKDQmnFg01VD5Q_K4fND28wS_7Mub-S634JVQ/s320/CIMG1607.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181116529916793506" border="0" /></a>Yup, he's one of the guys responsible for trail.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Bf6bCmXTYWSC7Go7wHo7BpRuH5yh8MnpdZdKmFfBMTLr_4O9yPjTrP9l7VOoF-WCQZ1xHEOH3fOrhcXvlyvBXrWte0Zvxl4XfdgYHWdCc9cfIVmNp3Syaxqvt2qvei0X1tneiunqYrMW/s1600-h/CIMG1611.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Bf6bCmXTYWSC7Go7wHo7BpRuH5yh8MnpdZdKmFfBMTLr_4O9yPjTrP9l7VOoF-WCQZ1xHEOH3fOrhcXvlyvBXrWte0Zvxl4XfdgYHWdCc9cfIVmNp3Syaxqvt2qvei0X1tneiunqYrMW/s320/CIMG1611.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181116620111106738" border="0" /></a>And he accidentally went on a gay date once.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjysNmvuInqlfGM0oxF_sbahcF9qXqepCm6-_dEVvNLeT7fPbs1jRsFjhYnihKwDUSVIYAXerKiJ9yLowDFd6a_unhWW_mjWN6H6t5NYrHrgJKI6Hbi26b0zXwaYrKMLzt4TrmIAE172ik1/s1600-h/CIMG1615.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjysNmvuInqlfGM0oxF_sbahcF9qXqepCm6-_dEVvNLeT7fPbs1jRsFjhYnihKwDUSVIYAXerKiJ9yLowDFd6a_unhWW_mjWN6H6t5NYrHrgJKI6Hbi26b0zXwaYrKMLzt4TrmIAE172ik1/s320/CIMG1615.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181117195636724418" border="0" /></a>Performing "cannilingus". Anyone have the number for rehab?<br /></div><br />After much merriment at the garage, trail went through some interesting buildings and other parts of the MIT campus. It led to a Jack Daniels check (unofficially endorsed by Slash!) in an amphitheater. From there, the pack was led to Kendall Square and the entrance to MIT's underground tunnels. The pack gave the hares a scare by nearly snaring us at the end of the tunnels but we managed to get our urine-soaked shorts to the on-in, the Thirsty Ear just before the pack.<br /><br />Circle was held in the loud, crowded bar. I'll be honest, I was drunk and don't remember much and nothing was recorded because the Cumbridge H3 is illiterate. So, instead, the story of circle will be told in pictures...<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxnk2uLgJ72Ov6LBQaIRRqmCPpH45jYQk3q02YtuDV1zvUPYdCPH1SaRomnr1J_9AY4S-3P623A1uhAPc48nbUb_dvCbrV7OFt8uk797KyLWeS5uh4GZqcwvlahEjKCJEL3iDJHkde4lI/s1600-h/CIMG1623.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxnk2uLgJ72Ov6LBQaIRRqmCPpH45jYQk3q02YtuDV1zvUPYdCPH1SaRomnr1J_9AY4S-3P623A1uhAPc48nbUb_dvCbrV7OFt8uk797KyLWeS5uh4GZqcwvlahEjKCJEL3iDJHkde4lI/s320/CIMG1623.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181117517759271634" border="0" /></a> The virgins and on-trail rock stars give their best rock star poses<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQWTj32tCvYgiK3evMnAvY8IHWTt_G7zpfBC-ActeOS23NLqLPzSkAVOasvboyr3NHZI0ev4l6PTIuxarIkBczTgdelEEoBxs8wUO8J9YPgP3ZXsa375ACPvC6Ay7GUopeI2VEJtUi_gom/s1600-h/CIMG1642.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQWTj32tCvYgiK3evMnAvY8IHWTt_G7zpfBC-ActeOS23NLqLPzSkAVOasvboyr3NHZI0ev4l6PTIuxarIkBczTgdelEEoBxs8wUO8J9YPgP3ZXsa375ACPvC6Ay7GUopeI2VEJtUi_gom/s320/CIMG1642.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181117882831491826" border="0" /></a>G-String gifts Krusty with his namesake...see any resemblance in the hair?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">The final down-down is now notorious in the circles of both the Cumbridge and Boston hashes. It's the newest CH3 sensation, the <span style="font-weight: bold;">"Your Daddy Should've Worn a Rubber"</span> down-down. From now on, at every CH3 hash, nominations will be taken and whoever has done the most galactically stupid thing will drink from a condom. Goat Throat earned this one by wearing a canadian tuxedo (jeans+jean jacket) and a Molson Canadian biking shirt. He also earned it because we know he'll do just about anything. In this case, that meant drinking beer out of a condom...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2ik2i_rZqEpSAERQNvjQ4BkiNf-Y9u5lMqIOffxoQ1B4uJbwWxN9zwUuri5Gu26WzWqHxVNON7zLmy1835SwrjmBWUHjXePg5yK_dwPnNjeOTxJqU7ckxoG0CklKtVnnlRNK08Oxq0Ef/s1600-h/CIMG1638.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2ik2i_rZqEpSAERQNvjQ4BkiNf-Y9u5lMqIOffxoQ1B4uJbwWxN9zwUuri5Gu26WzWqHxVNON7zLmy1835SwrjmBWUHjXePg5yK_dwPnNjeOTxJqU7ckxoG0CklKtVnnlRNK08Oxq0Ef/s320/CIMG1638.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181117753982472930" border="0" /></a>The condom is loaded.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhru7Fa7jjClAraGekVF_ag7-AQyfav0KZpeneKS1IJZTWe-x0Wm0Onfi20c0FE8rlbKmyG-1dtW7n6DsOmKpG-8VRJWSnbVQjkM-tnAj2NOBrik0-2SKDrhbce2SNu_QVm9kdPc5XNvkP/s1600-h/CIMG1639.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhru7Fa7jjClAraGekVF_ag7-AQyfav0KZpeneKS1IJZTWe-x0Wm0Onfi20c0FE8rlbKmyG-1dtW7n6DsOmKpG-8VRJWSnbVQjkM-tnAj2NOBrik0-2SKDrhbce2SNu_QVm9kdPc5XNvkP/s320/CIMG1639.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181119098307236626" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-bgX7ZRFxN3nvYvTGqrD9yBfPxWMyreCN13tnIAgW_oef3COBEGj_yjc2vNoAivSFC7NPFA-7OcuEbri5ao_5-Iuia5DpSIy-9AuOS15qjIrZNGKjKXf2F8_BmLk_RMHZADuWoBIBMUKy/s1600-h/CIMG1640.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-bgX7ZRFxN3nvYvTGqrD9yBfPxWMyreCN13tnIAgW_oef3COBEGj_yjc2vNoAivSFC7NPFA-7OcuEbri5ao_5-Iuia5DpSIy-9AuOS15qjIrZNGKjKXf2F8_BmLk_RMHZADuWoBIBMUKy/s320/CIMG1640.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181119291580764978" border="0" /></a>Help with the down-down.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin2PGJgN71PpvxNQkJ2ykCXuxwBLz-XKKABw5omcuar8JSNKvLG4IEivBXbEEdPY-byX0MSFsOtczqmRZ2BSExlU1Vf0jlf_wQ88gHpleWZ5BfYoxQAHkG-P2ZxjAaR6EfPedZ6RyKZ86f/s1600-h/CIMG1641.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin2PGJgN71PpvxNQkJ2ykCXuxwBLz-XKKABw5omcuar8JSNKvLG4IEivBXbEEdPY-byX0MSFsOtczqmRZ2BSExlU1Vf0jlf_wQ88gHpleWZ5BfYoxQAHkG-P2ZxjAaR6EfPedZ6RyKZ86f/s320/CIMG1641.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181119167026713378" border="0" /></a>Savoring the taste.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">So, anyone who's done something stupid, ask Goat Throat for some advice on how to get that taste out of your mouth.<br /><br />Oh, we also played a bunch of Rock Band at the Thirsty Ear.<br /><br />The next Cumbridge hash will be on Tue, Apr 15th, kicking off a week's worth of hashing, leading up to the Boston H3 Marathon Hash! Click <a href="http://www.bostonhash.com/marathon08/">here</a> to register for the Boston H3 Marathon Weekend Hash.<br /></div></div></div></div>Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-63471276049946722202008-03-05T19:35:00.000-08:002008-03-23T17:49:59.532-07:00CH3 Hash #8: Rock Band Hash-stravaganza(FAIR WARNING: Do not click on asterisked* links if you might get fired for doing so.)<br /><br />Cumbridge H3 presents...<br /><b>"<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d54UU-fPIsY" target="_blank">These Go To Eleven</a>" Rock Band Hash-stravaganza</b><br />Friday, March 14, 2008<br />Start Location: Hi-Fi Pizza and Giant Sub, 496 Mass Ave, Cambridge (Central Square T stop)<br />Start Time: 6:30pm HST<br />Hash Cash: $15 (and worth every penny!)<br />Hares: Krusty the Meat Miser and Wang Chunks<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" ><>Please RSVP to meatmiser@gmail.com if you think you're cumming<></span><br /><br />(Almost) fresh off the heels of the wildly successful ROCKSTAR Trust Me hash, the CH3 wants you to reprise the role of your inner rock star and join the band! You heard me right--the on-in will feature a full-fledged <a href="http://www.rockband.com/" target="_blank"><b>Rock Band</b></a> rig. Everyone will able to form bands and rock out to their hearts' content! And we'll need EVERYONE'S (booze-enhanced) talent--drummers, guitarists, bassists, and vocalists! Hell, there will even be a <b>CH3-branded keg</b> to keep you from getting too nervous on stage! All rock stars will be fed <b>home-cooked hot meal</b> (not to be confused with a <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hot+lunch" target="_blank">hot lunch*</a>), and will receive <b>personalized back-stage passes</b> (aka: tags) to commemorate the experience! And all of the above is just at the on-in!<br /><br />In logic-defying fashion, the trail promises to deliver parts of the people's republic that many of you wankers have never seen--complete with a <b>rock-star shotgunning check</b> and a <b>shot of liquid courage check</b>!<br /><br />If you've never played Rock Band before--don't worry! Beginners and experts alike can individually set their level of difficulty, so everyone in the band--regardless of experience--can have a blast playing along!<br /><br /><b>Rock Star dress is highly encouraged</b>, and can include, but is not limited to:<br />* New piercings / tattoos<br />* Pink/blue/green hair<br />* Anything you've ever seen Krusty the Meat Miser wearing<br /><br /><br /><b>IMPORTANT NOTE:</b><br />Kindly let the hares know if you're planning to cum (send an email to meatmiser@gmail.com). Thanks to a little creative license with the help of an <a href="http://mail2.someecards.com/filestorage/flr_78.jpg" target="_blank">ecard*</a>, "These [personalized name tags/home-cooked foods/kegs of beer/etc.] aren't going to lick themselves." Err... I mean... If you let us know in advance that you're cumming, we'll make sure to have enough beer/food/backstage passes/rockband for all! No payment necessary until the day of the hash... a "who's cumming" will be posted shortly--stay tuned!Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227936756724081287.post-51403107318420732342008-02-11T19:21:00.000-08:002008-02-11T20:15:11.268-08:00Hash Trash: Winter Beer MileThis recounting of last Friday's Winter Beer Mile is in chronological order and guaranteed 69% accurate as the scribe/RA showed up late and didn't actually run.<br /><br />Hare(s): Wang Chunks, Krusty the Meat Miser<br />Pack: Goat Throat, 'Ed Master, Sticks it to the Bros, You Oughta Blow, Nice T!ts, Wooden Eye F*ckerinthass, Jolly Green Vagina, Crucifux, Shorn Scrotum, SATRAC, Nipplus Erectus, Bleeps, Sweeps and Creeeps (Seacoast H3), Scooby Do Me (CCH3), I Eat Cum (HVH3), Jimmy Crackwhore (HVH3), Foreskin (a bunch of hashes)<br /><br />The pack gathered for a pre-mile pint at the Powderhouse Pub in Somerville. The smart ones kept their stomachs empty but the true hashers lined their stomachs with alcohol early. Wang Chunks was the first one there, turning tricks for hash cash and using it buy cases of premium beer like Milwaukee's Best and PBR. Both Jolly Green Vagina and I Eat Cum had worn skid-marked tighty-whities outside their windpants in order to combat crotch cold and to "look distinguished" on the track. Later, Crucifux professed her attraction to Nice T!ts and the two proceeded to make out. Discussions of mutual fingerblasting were then broken up by cries of "on out", as someone is very, very stupid.<br /><br />(Note: These events may not have actually happened, as the scribe missed the pre-lube due to complications during a sex change operation.)<br /><br />Arriving at the track, the silhouettes of overachievers could be seen doing wind sprints from the starting line of the event. Most would later vomit and all would later drink for such blatantly racist behavior. The rules of the beer mile were explained for the benefit of the virgins at the event (beer, 1/4 mile, repeat 3 more times, booting = run extra lap), the beer mile began and chugging ensued. Well, more accurately, some chugging and A LOT of sipping ensued. Goat Throat proved, once again, that his gag reflex doesn't exist. I Eat Cum, Sticks it to the Bros and 'Ed Master followed close behind. Everyone else was drinking with pinky daintily extended, like a teetotaler. Eventually more empty aluminum cans fell to the track.<br /><br />After the beer had settled, Goat Throat blew the competition. Away with a time of 7:40. You Oughta Blow led the field of harriettes with a time of 11:56. To see full results head to <a href="http://www.beermile.com/">beermile.com</a> and type "cumbridge" into the race search engine. There was some magnificent booting/alcohol abuse by I Eat Cum and Jimmy Crackwhore.<br /><br />Back at the Powderhouse Pub, circle was led by dashingly handsome RA, Krusty the Meat Miser. Being the "hare", Wang Chunks demonstrated a Cumbridge down-down after being told to "get on your knees, bitch!" Next up were the over (the 6) and under (the 9) achievers, the FRB (Goat Throat), FBI (You Oughta Blow) and DAL (Jimmy Crackwhore). There was a special down-down for 6.9th place of the 6.9th running of the Cumbridge hash (Nice T!ts). Next up were the wind sprint violators and other racists (I Eat Cum, Sticks it to the Bros, Jimmy Crackwhore, Goat Throat, You Oughta Blow for a track shirt). Then the visitors (I Eat Cum, Jimmy Crackwhore, Foreskin, Bleeps), who sang us a song about a mouse or the ballgame or maybe something about 2 tickets to paradise. The sweatless among us drank for their mooching of beer from the running, thirsty masses (Krusty, SATRAC, Nipples, Bleeps, Foreskin, Wang). The special "Smaht Kids" down-down was next, for anyone associated with MIT, Harvard or Tufts or anyone who had sex with someone from those universities (almost everyone). Intelligence is NOT an STD, by the way. Crucifux then complained via squeaking noises that Sticks it to the Bros was molesting her with his finger so he proceeded to do a Catholic priest down-down WITH HEADGEAR IN CIRCLE. Another one for Bros. Scooby Do Me's shoes were clearly 9.69% new. He couldn't decide which one to take off, so removed both and drank from both.<br /><br />There were several other accusations that I failed to remember but circle was closed with a rendition of "Today is Monday." The hash was then led in a rousing version of "I Used to Work in Chicago" by Foreskin. The hash then headed (who said...?) to Redbones for a drink or two to settle their stomachs.<br /><br />On-beermile-on,<br />Krusty the Meat Miser<br />Cumbridge RA Emeritus<br />"Cum Loud"Krusty the Meat Miserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10777424500815045212noreply@blogger.com0